Tuesday, December 14, 2010

We just love them !

We are a very busy family these days. Milana and Brock are doing well.Brock is mellow and charming and Milana is a firecracker and full of endless energy and very stubborn! They are picking up english very quickly.Brock is still having skin rashes probably due to allergies we are still trying to figure out but, getting better.Both are eating very well and have stopped hoarding food so much.Milana has already gained almost 2 pounds.I think she will catch up very quickly. Brock is still the same but, eating well.They are the same size so most people think they are twins.They are picking up english very quickly and are obviously liking all the attention they recieve from their siblings.They have enjoyed wagon rides, looking at christmas lights and running around outside without being bundled up like little russians in December.They are becoming little Californians and getting their vitamin D .Having two little toddlers is an adjustment again but, we are just so happy they are here.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


After a LONG 28 hour journey from Russia we are finally home with our kids !! Getting through the airports was bit challenging at times but, all considered they did pretty well. We are used to traveling internationally with children when we go back to my homeland Switzerland with the other kids so,I knew to just get through it.The kids are settling in nicely.The main issue right now is their sleep. Both are having a hard time letting themselves fall asleep. This will take some time. Miss Milana has already started to test her limits with all the over stimulation at home too. Parenting has already started.One of the most wonderful things however, I have seen is how Brock and Milana who NEVER met each until Gotcha day(since they were in separate orphanages 3 hours apart) have been a wonderful comfort to one another. Most people think they are twins because they are the same size even though Brock is 8 months older.Both kids are small but, I can already see some filling out.They have really enjoyed all the attention from all their older siblings. The first night home all of their 5 older siblings and auntie gave them a bath. They loved it !! The next few weeks will be really busy with appointments plus all the Christmas stuff !!I am not sure how I am going to get it all done but,now that I am the mom of 7 I know sometimes some things may just do not make it off the list so prioritizing will be in order.I can finally say this 3 year long and difficult journey to bring our children home has ended and now we can begin our new journey together !!We will have lots of stories to tell since we can also say now we made it through court with the SAME judge as the women who sent her child back to Russia and almost halted Russian adoptions! That was an experience !! I am just SO HAPPY TO BE HOME WITH OUR CHILDREN !!!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Our first week together

We have gotten through the first week !! Overall we are adjusting pretty well although it is exhausting doing this pick up trip on my own with two little ones.I will be glad when hubby comes to pick us us for the trip home! Personalities are already starting to emerge and some orphanage behaviors as well. Nothing that I was not prepared for just hard to see.Both children EAT EVERYTHING and eat it very fast.I have noticied the last couple days they are finally slowing down the food intake just a bit.It is funny trying to teach them to use a sippy cup because they already drink from a regular really well.Miss Milana is a good sleeper so far but, Little Brock is definitely NOT.
The last week we have been busy getting Passports,Visa's and new birth certificates.Yesterday we went to the US embassy so, all that is left is for the courier to get back from Moscow to register children.It has been relatively nice weather here for this time of year so I have been able to take the kids for walks. Although that all changed last night and it is now very snowy and Cold.After 4 trips to Russia this year I am so happy to go home on Monday ! When we return home we will be having our own Thanksgiving feast !!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Introducing our children... Milana and Brock

Milana Anastasia and Brock Bogdan

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Secret Prayer

I have thought over and over again of a touching experience we had last Sunday in Church while attending the small branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Vladivostok.It was not easy to find the building in downtown Vlad and we had to take an early train to get there on time plus it was a really cold morning but, I am so glad we pushed through it to attend church for the lord had a great gift in store.A gift that will forever touch our lives and build our testimony that God hears and answers prayers. At the end of the last hour of church a beautiful young 19 year Russian girl who joined the church three years ago sat down next to me.She knew why we were in Russia and very much wanted to speak to me.She told me how she wanted to share something with me that she has never shared with anyone else before. The deep conviction of something in her heart she wanted to share with me(whom she has never met before that day)had me glued to my seat and at the same time felt an immediate connection to one another.This beautiful young woman Anastasia began to tell me of how she was an orphan growing up in Vladivostok. She as a young baby had been in the same orphanage as our little girl.Anastasia told me of many of the hardships that linger on in life as one remains an orphan. When she joined the church her life changed for good.She had never felt truely loved by anyone until the missionaries found her and was taught the gospel and baptized. She has felt truely "adopted" by being a part of the church family here in the small branch who care deeply about one another.Since she was baptized however she has had a secret prayer she never shared with anyone.Her eyes began to water as she told me I was the answer to her secret prayer.I just could not comprehend how this could be but, I continued to listen.In a quivering voice she told me she had prayered that someday someone from our Faith would come adopt a child from her former orphanage. She had thought that would be an impossible possibility.Anastasisia's secret prayer has been answered and yet little did Anastasia know that our prayer of getting confirmation once again of his will for us was also answered by her sharing her secret prayer.After this experience we chose to use Anastasia for our little girls middle name to never forget a young girls prayer and how we were the lucky ones tobe able fulfill her prayer request.
In a couple days I return to Russia again FOR THE LAST TIME to pick up the little ones. The children will be ours completely in just a few days !Despite the long trip I am glad I came home to be with the other kids over the 10 day waiting period after court.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Successful Court

It was a day to forever remember yesterday !! We started out the day visiting the children and trying to prepare them for the upcoming transition in their lives. We then went with our translater and had some lunch at our favorite restaurant at the mall like place downtown Vladivostok. We then walked in FREEZING cold windy/snowlike rain to the courthouse.It was only a couple blocks away but, WOW it was COLD.We met our Russian cordinater at the courthouse where she went over the last few things of importance. After a two hour court hearing of intense questioning and being asked VERY detail questions on each child plus EVERY aspect of our lives our petition was approved. Our tough judge (think Hansen adoption case)was not going to let that kind of situation happen again.We are glad we prepared ourselves and really felt the Holy Ghost guiding our words as we spoke.

We are heading home today to see our children after being here Russia in for over two weeks on this court trip! I will return to Russia in a week when I can pick the children up after the 10 day waiting time.Thank you for all your prayers ! Right now I am just looking forward to seeing my kids and to sleeping on my own bed !

Monday, November 1, 2010

Friday, October 29, 2010

Long Russia update The good and not so good

A couple days ago we did our required 8 doctor russian physicals here in Vladivostok. It was interesting to say the least.The physicals took place in what they call a hospital but, used to be a former mansion to a single family before the revolution.It had beautiful ornate moldings that were interesting to see.The actual physical took place in like a ballroom type room with very little privacy.It lasted about 45 minutes and then we got to pay the hefty bill.It was definitly the most interesting physical I can ever remember.
We have been able to see both children.The first day we drove the two hours north to see little B.The very first thing that I sensed from his deep rich brown eyes was relief. I will not ever forget his expression on his face as I am sure he has wondered if we would ever come back.He is such a sweet and loving little boy. he has a nasty rash/infection on his head that we are trying to figure out what it is.I do not know if it is scabies or something else. He has not grown much at all.His slender build body makes him look even smaller.We also went to see our miss M. She also has not grown much. She too is just so small for being a little over two.Miss M is very attached to her caretakers and was having a harder time at first.However at the end of our second visit she was hanging on to my neck for dear life.I do think she will have a harder transition at first because she is a bit confused at what is happening.
Yesterday we had our first court date. Our judge(much more on that subject after we return home) is requiring two courts because of two childen. We had our first court date yesterday and we did just fine. We knew we would have to go back for a second court when we came but, we were told the second court would be within a few days of the first. The judge however did not give the final court date for another 10 days !! We are trying to change our tickets to come home for the ten day waiting period but, flights out of here those days are full.We are still figuring things out and whether I will be able to go home for those ten days now .I am trying to just roll with the punches here but, its hard because I have 5 kids at home!!In the meantime we are trying to stay positive and see what else we can possibly see here in Vladivostok.

Monday, October 25, 2010

We have arrived !

After 29 hours of travel we arrived once again in Vladivostok. We are no longer just known as the California family but, they actually know our name here at the Hotel.Even the lady down at the little grocery store remembered us and wondered if we were back for another adoption. I am not sure we were able to communicate we were still in the process with the first one.Anyway, we are glad to be here and get this process finalized.
Tomorrow we have our Russian physicals. I am not too stressed about it. There have been so many stressful things in this adoption that this just is not one of them.I certainly would not have gone through this process if I was not heathy enough.

Our first court date is this Friday and the second the following Friday.Then we have to wait out the ten day waiting period. That means we have to be here for two weeks before the ten day waiting period even begins.It is just too long for me to be away from the family so, We will return home for those ten days an then I come back to get the children.Yes, that means we will have made 4 trips to Russia to complete this adoption.
I am finally starting to feel like this actually will happen.I am a bit nervous about court since we have heard this judge is very tough !Plus we still have hurdles to jump.
In the meantime we will get some walks in down by the bay before the snow starts. It was a lovely 26 degrees today when we arrived.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Finally !! Court Date !!

Waiting NINE months since trip 1 to Russia for a court date yesterday we FINALLY found out we have 2 court dates for our little ones. Long story I can not go into here but, we have to be in Russia in 7 days !! Our first court date is Oct 29th and the second within a week.Due to our complicated case I may need to stay the entire time which would be over a month in Russia.I am somewhat paniced over this since running a household of presently seven is a full time job and my mommy heart is missing my kids already.I have a wonderful brother and famiy who is taking over but, it is a HUGE task to take over a large family like ours . I was planning on coming home for the 10 day waiting period and then going back. We are trying to figure it all out here in the next day or so since we have to leave by the end of the week!!! We have our visa but, our bloodwork is still in the works because they told us it is only good for 30 days now.We have been waiting waiting waiting and now we are rushing like crazy people trying to get it all together in less then a week !

We still do not know whether one of our little ones will be cleared to come home with us but, we hope and pray what ever the outcome that our hearts will be at peace and know we have come and have done all we can.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

My thoughts of this journey

I wish I could still find more joy in this long adoption journey right now.

In my opinion,some laws and rules do not always serve the best interest of children.

Despite the fact that our judge did not like our official F.B.I. clearances because it did not have the wording she liked I need to keep reminding myself I have never committed any crime EVER.I have never even gotten a traffic ticket ever !

Trying to come up with redundant type of documents over and over again to please a judge who does not appear to be adoption friendly makes my heart sad and weary.

When you are told that you will not know whether your little girl will be allowed to be cleared for adoption after all due to a complicated situation until you are in court makes me fear a broken heart.

When you have done ALL you can,faith and prayer is all that is left.

Trusting God and accepting the way it turns out takes courage.

I have learned to really become a MAMA BEAR to fight for my children that in my heart our already mine.

A mommy heart can heart deeply!

It is not my nature to ask for much but, any extra prayers for us would be appreciated that the judge will give us a court date on the third try by our Russian coordinater to bring one or both of our little ones home.This Mamma is ready to end this journey to bring them home.

Monday, August 30, 2010

through the eye of the needle

The last couple weeks to me have been like a test to see how we will respond and deal with challenges that really feel like you are being put through the eye of a needle.The phrase "when it rains it pours" certainly describes our lives lately.

In the last couple weeks we have had our oldest son in the hospital again. He needed to be at a top notch medical center here California to recieve top expertise on his needs.It takes over an hour each way to get there with L.A. traffic. To say the least it has been very stressful. He is back home now and doing OK.At the same time school started here and I am having to deal with 4 different schools and schedules.Then we are right in the middle of a total kitchen remodel and have had endless delays and hitches therefore having NO kitchen for WAY to long and trying to feed a family of seven good healthy meals is really hard when you do not have a kitchen. I am so grateful for our friends and church family who have helped us survive the last couple weeks with food and support. On top of all that "our" judge in Vlad requested additional "New" documentation for court. Between hospitals.,schools, kitchen drama, I have been busy gathering these new requirment/documents. With all that being said, we are hoping to finally get a court date this week since I do not know what else anyone could possibly know about us !We were told to get our visa so, we have done that already. We have also done our required xrays and bloodwork again.

It certainly feels like we are being tested and pushed through a needle but, yet I am feeling a peace that comes from within that I know only comes from my believe that these things only make us to grow and realize we are stronger then we might think.I am not saying I am enjoying these times but,I am trying to view it in a positive way.

This week should bring good news. We do hope that both Little B and M will both be coming home soon.We still do not know for sure whether one of our little ones will be cleared for adoption after all. How and whenever ever this story ends we will always know we have done all that we could and now the rest we give to the lord.

Friday, August 13, 2010

hanging on by a thread

I have been quiet not because things are quiet but, because I am really unable to write too much at this time since this is a public blog and It would really only be a major rant session. There are so many things that I think should be known but, at this point I must hold it private.Everything we could possibly do has been done.One of my greatest fears however with this adoption may end up happening to us. In the meantime our documents are all needing updating and now not only need an immigration extention but, will probably have to apply for another approval after we are home with one and go back again.An immigration approval is a one way ticket home for the children only if they come home together.The frusration level has been high and I just trying to keep an attitude that heavenly father has this situation under his eye and knows what is best more then us.I am trying to hang on even if it is by a mere thread.If we recieved a court date by the second week of September for BOTH would be a great blessing and it would avoid so much stress and save us so much money we were not expecting to have to spend !This experience has really been one of the most difficult things to get through.It has been 8 months since we met our little B.

Friday, July 9, 2010

This is just hard !

We were hoping to recieve some good news this week instead were told there is a problem with one of our little ones clearance for adoption.We will not know the outcome for another 2 to 3 weeks so everything is again on hold.I think of all we have done to have this adoption completed and am just feeling completely depleted.No matter what we will now be delayed again !!I have held,hugged,kissed,played and promised my babies their mommy and daddy would be back again soon.Our USCIS immigration approval expires in September so now we have to deal with that too!I have not many words just feeling sad and depleted for my little ones and us !I know I have got to keep my faith that things will work out the way they are suppose to but, it does not make it any easier.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Some get away time ! Still waiting too !!

We spent last week in the Pacific Northwest up in Oregon and Washington State. We saw the sun only a couple times so I guess we are a bit spoiled living in So.California.Lots of green and a change of scenery though !
On the adoption front,we have heard NOTHING! There have still been no court dates for the Vladivostok region.We found out that Fed Ex had lost our package to Russia containing the last court Documents. After three days it was located and did make it to Vlad.I have totally given this adoption experience over to the lord. I am emotionally exhausted and am running out of steam to worry any more. I just hate having our babies keep waiting and for us missing out on their childhood with their family.We are so hoping everything is complete by end of September because a big chunk of our paperwork will expire including our home study.I feel like my main job during the last THREE years has been doing adoption paperwork.I have heard the judges are very picky so who knows what else needs to be done.We had been told court would most likely be in July which now seems unlikely.So, as we have done so much of we continue to do....wait.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dear little ones

Dear precious ones,
We have been thinking of you everyday almost nonstop ! We are waiting for you as patiently as we know how.We hope you enjoyed your birthday gifts sweet miss M.You are so small for your age but,I know you will be doing much growing when you come home. Little B, I hope you are enjoying your gifts too and hope you are able to get outside and feel the sun on your face a bit each day.
We have started preparing the house and getting ready for both of you.It is going to be a bit of an adjustment again to have 2 young little toddlers in our home .We are still trying to figure out which bedroom to use and whether to put you together in one room.Mom has loved buying cute little sundresses and hats for you little M.I have also gotten several ride on toys that you love to ride little B.
All of your brothers and sisters are exited for both of you to come home.They are exited for you to be able to learn to enjoy swimming in our pool and enjoy going to the beach.I have a feeling you are both going to love playing in the warm sand and before you know it you will probably become little fish and enjoy playing in the water.
We love you little ones and will be there soon to bring you home !

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Great achievments !!

What a busy week celebrating great achievments!Since I do not talk much about our kids(who we already have) on this blog I want them to feel special too.
Brianna graduated this week and also recieved special recognition and honors for having ranked having the 4th highest G.P.A. in her graduating class.She also recieved a nice plaque for that honor too.During her junior and senior year she also took college courses and now already has a year of college behind her.She is looking forward to Brigham Young University in the near future.
Last week Bri also graduated from our youth seminary program for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.She was at church every morning at 6.30 sharp from Monday through Friday during the school year for All four years of high school. After seminary she would head straight to school.This is not an easy task !!Brianna's favorite qoute is "stand up for what you believe even if you stand alone"
We are very proud of her !
Caroline made us very proud as well graduating from Middle school and recieving a Presidents award for her high academic grades and leadership abilities. She is only going into high school but, is already taking her first class at our nearby community college.
Good job my girls !

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Home Again

Home again just in time for all the graduations this coming week. I made it home just in time for seminary graduation for Brianna on Sunday. Now this coming week is High School graduation for Bri, Middle school graduation for Caroline and 6th grade commencement for Bryce.

On another note,I am happy to be home and know much has been accomplished this past week or so in Russia.Our sweet girl miss M is precious and so sweet ! Our little B is too ! We am very anxious to bring them home because they really need to be loved and nourished !! Ok, I am really going to be buying cream to put in food to get more calories in them.I was able to get more clear answers being there then from what our agency could give us.Not that I was happy with the answers I recieved but, at least I do not need to wonder what is really going on. For those waiting for court dates in our region need some more patience.The Hansen case has greatly affected this region.Hopefully the Vlad Inn will be full of adoptive parents and children again soon unlike the silence of my experience last week.I just really need my babies home !

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Our sweet little girl and boy !

I arrived here in Vladivostok a couple days ago. I have spent precious time with our soon to be little girl. She is a happy little one and sat on my lap being very content unpacking everything I had in her little bag.She then proceeded to unpack my purse and find all sorts of little goodies. She feed me lots of goldfish first before she finally ate one. She is just precious and although small for her age seems very much on track developmently.Looks like I will be shopping some more for a size smaller then I thought.We are so exited to bring her and little B home. I will spend the next couple days with both our little ones and then head back home until our court date.Things are very slow here still and but will pick up again when the treaty between Russia and United States is signed. Patience Patience Patience!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


OK, so where do I begin? First, I will share what I have been wanting to for a while now that I haven't because of all the Russia adoption drama lately.We have recieved and accepted a referral of a little girl too! When I first saw her picture I immediatly thought she reminded me of someone. When my mother saw the pic she knew exactly who she reminded me of. It was me ! I compared pics of myself at her age when me and my own family still lived in eastern Europe when I was a little girl and it is amazing the similarities.There is even one pic that I found where we both are wearing the thick tights and a bandana and have very chunky cheeks!

I am traveling this weekend to Vladivostok to see Miss M and also visit our little B. I am traveling solo this time because we will be going back soon again hopfully to have court for both children. Long story we will save for LATER!Last few weeks I have started SHOPPING for little girl things again. I have bought mostly 18-24 months size cloths for her.
We will see if they fit! The last good piece of info is little B's release letter has come!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life lessons

A couple days ago Victoria came home from school somewhat quiet. Apparently several kids at school were talking about the little boy sent back to Russia by his adoptive mother.Several kids at school asked her if little B was going to have stay in the orphanage now?( All the kids and teacher know about little B ). We had spent time talking to each of the kids about the reality of things possibly being delayed to bring little B home because we did not have a court date yet before all the fiasco started.Victoria then said "It is not fair Mom. We did not do anything bad and you would not ever do what that lady did. Little B did not do anything bad either.Besides we already have clothes and cool toys for him to play with and we WANT him to be in our family.Can you tell those people in Russia that?" If only it were that easy.Still waiting for a court date... hopefully.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Trying to keep the faith

I am still in shock and numb over the news of the Russian boy returned to Russia on a one way ticket with a note by his adoptive mother.I can not even grasp the idea that a mother can think about doing that!This little boy is from the same region as our little B. This incident has Russian officials outraged and want to suspend all adoptions to US families.I have literally felt sick and grief to think what this may mean for us.We are soo close to a court date! Please pray for all families effected by this and the children who have loving families waiting to bring them home. I wanted to share some good news but, now we will have to wait and see.This is just so hard!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Good And Not So Good

So, why is it that good news seems to always come with not so good news in the world of International Adoption.I am so ready to get off this roller coaster ride but, we ARE going to stay on until it is over.The ups and downs are really wearing on me and yet I see the miracles along the way that keep me going on this journey.
The not so good news include...
1. Some judges in Vladivostok is now requiring FBI clearances on top of state clearances for court. We already have them from when we were adopting from Kyrgyzstan but,Russia requires them to be less then 6 months old.Of course this happens right before we get a court date! We did get them done but, they are normally taking 13 weeks to process!! We are working on getting them expedited so we will see what happens.
2.As told a few weeks ago our region is also now requiring the 8 doctor medicals to be done in Russia. Again we just finished up our medicals in the states going through hoops to do them!It was like a full time job getting medicals for 7 people!We were however informed we will probably be able to do them in Vladivostok and not have the extra expense of going through Moscow.
3.The release letter from Moscow for little B had not arrived in Vlad yet! It as been over two months!
Some times my human nature begins to just get so frustrated with all this but, then there is GOOD news that only God could orchestrate. Hopefully in about two weeks I will be able to share what it is. The timing would be perfect so,I am trying hard to remember God has it all under control.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Waiting,Teeth Woes, and Laundry Mania

So, we are waiting sort of patiently for a Court Date ! Honestly, I am not expecting it to come for another few weeks because two documents had be changed slightly. Since hubby and our oldest adult son have the same name they wanted us to designate one to father and one to son so there is no confusion. It was not a big deal to do but, it did entail us to get them authenticated again.I do not even want to know how much we have spent just on authenticating alone for this adoption since each document is 20
dollars here in California.

While waiting I have been spending WAY to much time at the dentist! I THOUGHT I was being smart by getting a crown that was recommended before I went back to Russia for a month. Well... my "experienced" dentist compromised a root in the tooth and now have mega nerve pain in my jaw ! Lets just say losing 5 pounds on my small frame makes my body look and weigh like a twelve year old ! Now we have to wait and see if I will need a root canal. This is not what I need or want before I leave for Russia ! ! UGH UGH UGH !!

My other keeping busy project has been to organize a better laundry system in our home. 7 people plus having kids in sports generates A LOT of laundry !!I am one of those that likes everything organized but, the laundry battle is uphill so I am working on a new and improved system.Now if only I could catch the sock snatcher !

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Moving Forward

It has been a busy few weeks getting all the mega paperwork done for the Court Dossier. Trying to explain and convince people to do things a certain way with certain wording has proven to be quite challenging again. I spent HOURS on the phone trying to get a two sentence letter from our mortgage company. They kept telling me they do not write letters with an original signature and a recent mortgage statement and history is all they can do for me. Finally had to go to the main office building THREE times to get this one letter with a real persons signature! Good grief!! I also seriously do not want to have to go back to a CPA anytime soon and explain 1000 times that things have to be done a certain way!! Anyway, after feeling like this has been my FULL TIME job our Court Dossier is complete and on its way to Russia. We may have to redo medicals again because they are only good for three months and our release letter for little B had not arrived yet, so we will see.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Trip Pics

Here are a few pics of Vladivostok, pic of us at a temple in Seoul Korea and a body pic of our little B.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Our Experience

We arrived home yesterday after leaving Vladivostok on Friday and then spending a couple days in Korea.

Where do I begin? So many thoughts,emotions,highs and lows but, most importantly we are so grateful we listened to the promptings to come despite things turning out differently then we had expected.Sometimes we just cannot comprehend how we are divinely lead to situations we would have not thought.

We arrived in Vladovostok on Saturday the 16th and settled in at the hotel. We met several families there who were on trip two and already had there children.On Sunday we went for a walk in the neighborhood down to the completely frozen solid "beach". We kept following the music and found a skating rink there where many were enjoying there afternoon in -29 C weather!! We did not last too long it was just sooo cold!!

Monday morning finally arrived and we went to the orphanage to see sweet baby girl. She was so precious! We held her and played with her for a couple hours the first visit.More then ANYTHING I wanted to feel peace and yet we did not have it. After our visits and many emails to our IA doctors we had to make a very painful decision to decline. I kept wanting to have that peace of going forth and yet we both knew we must listen to the answers we receive. As I held this precious child I prayed fervently that she would find a family who would and could take on what were unable to at this point in our lives. We have felt a peace I can not explain but, it does not make it any less painful with kinds of feeling I can not explain. As I gave the baby to the caregiver the last time I could feel those big, huge tears streaming down my face.I just wanted it to be different but, it was not going to be.I had to let go of my dream of having this precious child in our family. We knew coming that if we declined we would have to come home and wait for another referral.We both felt a strong urge to come and knew someday we would know why.

This is when we begin to see the plan for our family! We were told of a little boy who became available. At the beginning I was very hesitant because we were here for a girl! We knew however that are paperwork actually approves us for two. Something inside just kept telling us to go see this little boy over and over again ! The next day we drove to his orphanage. As we walked in the music room in the orphanage here came the most ADORABLE 2 year old little boy! I can not explain in words the thoughts I had other then I already knew this little boy .We just knew he was meant to be ours.We felt an instant connection with him as he did with us. He is not what we expected but we would have NEVER been lead to him because he did not meet our age requirements. We KNOW we had to be lead to him somehow even if it meant we had to decline another child.

So, this is where it gets even more interesting. We will not only bring home our little boy but, will continue our journey to our little girl from the same region . We do not know when we will receive another baby girl referral from Vladivostok but, we KNOW we are being led and we will follow. When we were doing our home study I am not really sure why we put down two kids other then for a "just in case scenario". Little did we really understand.

There is still so much to absorb from all that has transpired in such a short time. The extreme emotions of sadness to happiness to peace and seeing the plan for us is just a bit overwhelming.The roller coaster of all this is hard and yet I could of never imagined the plan for us.I will post a few pics when I get them down loaded.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Ready to come home

We are leaving Russia tonight.It has been overall a very hard week full of ups and downs, We are emotionally exhausted and are looking forward to gettting home. We have some sad news and some good news too. I have no regrets and we have had experiences that we will forever remember . There is so much to say but I just need to wait until I can wrap my brain around all the events of the week. I will post more when we return.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Last Minute Stress !

On the outside I appear pretty calm however, I am fooling everyone because things have been so stressful and I am a complete stress case! We have had to redo several documents due to our Home Study making a mistake and our Agency did not catch it until they were imformed from Russia. I have been running around redoing , notorizing and getting these documents authenticated again!The timing is so close that we will not recieve these docs until the day we leave!! Just plain stress!
In addition to the document stress we recieved a worrisome e mail regarding our little one.All this stress has obviously lowered my immune system and I am trying to kick a kidney infection. I feel like I am in a constant battle.
We are actually going and I am just trying to be strong and have faith. We will be leaving sunny seventy degree weather here in California in a few short days and heading to a cold russian winter ! ! It gives me chills just thinking about it since I pretty much wear sandles all year long ! Little one here we come!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Getting Ready !

In less then two weeks we will be in Russia!! Tickets have all been purchased and now we are just waiting on our Visa! I will be honest and say even though I am really exited I am nervous too.I know everyone always says this but, leaving the kids WILL be hard. I guess you always worry when your a mom. I have already made several lists even though the kids all know this stuff! Having a SN son makes things a bit more stressful for me too. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and have faith that all will be fine. We will be gone nine days because we are staying in Korea a couple days too. Lots of deep thoughts and feelings lately about what is to come.I keep praying that we will be in tune and know Gods will for us regarding this precious baby girl.