Thursday, September 30, 2010

My thoughts of this journey

I wish I could still find more joy in this long adoption journey right now.

In my opinion,some laws and rules do not always serve the best interest of children.

Despite the fact that our judge did not like our official F.B.I. clearances because it did not have the wording she liked I need to keep reminding myself I have never committed any crime EVER.I have never even gotten a traffic ticket ever !

Trying to come up with redundant type of documents over and over again to please a judge who does not appear to be adoption friendly makes my heart sad and weary.

When you are told that you will not know whether your little girl will be allowed to be cleared for adoption after all due to a complicated situation until you are in court makes me fear a broken heart.

When you have done ALL you can,faith and prayer is all that is left.

Trusting God and accepting the way it turns out takes courage.

I have learned to really become a MAMA BEAR to fight for my children that in my heart our already mine.

A mommy heart can heart deeply!

It is not my nature to ask for much but, any extra prayers for us would be appreciated that the judge will give us a court date on the third try by our Russian coordinater to bring one or both of our little ones home.This Mamma is ready to end this journey to bring them home.


GuinnessandKillian said...

Oh, tough judges. We had one. I so understand your pain and frustration. I could tell you story after story (she didn't like a state department's black letterhead because she thought it was forged. She requested the state verify the apostilles. Each and every one. I could go on and on. E-mail me through my profile if you need.) What matters is this: it ultimately worked out and we brought the girls home in August after a horribly long and painful journey. I literally found myself on the floor of the laundry room sobbing for God to take it - the pain, the worry, the frustration, the fear. I knew He wouldn't have brought us someplace we weren't supposed to be. Prayers to you all.

Anonymous said...

Your attitude is amazing under these circumstances. We continue to pray for you often !


Lori said...

You know...I think you wrote something VERY important.

"Trusting God and accepting the way it turns out takes courage."

SO true. Doesn't mean you are weak in your faith. Doesn't mean that you haven't given it to God. Doesn't mean that you don't accept that He is in control.

Just means that even when He DOES have it, it doesn't always work out the way we want...that HURTS...and it takes courage to accept that hurt is a possible part of the plan.

Paul asked to have his thorn removed. He had to EVENTUALLY come to rationalize that there was purpose in it.

But even HE didn't want to hurt...none of us do.

Always praying for your sweet and there!

Maggie and Randy said...

I hope you get your long awaited court date really soon. It's so hard waiting and re-doing paperwork and there seems to be always something wrong. We all have been there at one time or another. I had many breaking points through out this adoption and know that your not alone. All we can do is continue to pray and hope for the best out come. Take time I will be reading happy news;-))))

Monica said...

You have been on my mind... I'm praying that things go quickly and easily for you from here on out. This truly is a spiritual journey much MORE than I was prepared for. Even having Libbie home for 5 months now I am not recovered from the stress of it at all. I hope that your suffering on this end of the process will atleast award you an easier time when you DO get them HOME!

Charity said...

I'm catching up on my blogs and saw yours had been updated... I rapidly clicked on it, hoping to read some incredibly good news. I'm so sorry to hear about your problems with your judge. I'm not giving you "extra" prayers, I have plenty of time to sit and talk with God and my prayers for your family, and your children waiting to come home, will be intentional.

Hang in there! I'm praying for your family!

In Christ,

Shelly and Steve said...

I'm so sorry your journey is taking such a difficult path and hope it all turns around quickly. Oh how I wish this process and the people involved were more transparant and straight-forward. As Monica said, the stress of it all has lingered with me as well. I know you will hang in there and remain diligent and the rewards will be realized soon I hope.

Becky said...

I'm so sorry this journey has been long and weary for you. Ours has been too, and we have been fervently praying that things will roll smoothly now that we are here with our girl. You are on my mind often Corinne, because I understand where you are because our journeys have been very similar. I will continue to pray for you, your family, and your sweet little ones waiting.

The Gobble's (Lanetta) said...

Oh corinne... just know that I am praying... so praying for you and your sweet babies... :)
I know that nothing I can say... (I KNOW THIS).. will make it any better... but, please know that I'm sending HUGS, love and prayers... :)

Jeanne said...

Just wanted to say Hi and let you know I have been thinking of you. Wishing your strength!