Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Where do I begin ! ! Will this roller coaster ride of international adoption ever end ? I never liked roller coasters anyway !! First, I will say that almost two weeks ago we finished our dossier number 1 for our region in Russia! We really got this done in record time. Beginning of last week however, (after all the hard work was over) we recieved additional unexpected devastasting medical news regarding little D.This past week has been nothing short of agony knowing we have to make a very very difficult decision. After immense soul searching,lots of research,conversing with I.A. doctors and prayer we have had to make the hardest decision I think we have ever made! We have had to let him go and put our trust in God to protect him.Once we finally made the decision I felt a peace I can only explain as divine. Even though my heart kept wanting to save little D we knew we were not the right family equipt to do this. His sweet little face has filled our home this past month and my heart aches for him not knowing what his future will hold. Please pray for little D and all those little ones with uncertain futures.This experience is not something I hope to ever have to experience again !It has been simply emotional torture ! The last couple days I have had a constant prayer in my heart to confirm we have done the right thing. Yesterday I recieved word that all invitations to travel to this region in Russia are on hold for many months ! Even though this is generally not good news for others , for us is was an answer to prayer and a confirmation of the most agonizing decision we had to make. It does mean however that we will need to go to another region and I will have once again do another dossier because it is different for each region ! I have asked myself why we have had to have this experience ( among all the other hard knocks this past year) and even though it seems harsh at times I know someday I will get a better understanding. So,what do we do now ? We continue with this journey to find our children in Russia and/or Kyrgyzstan. which ever country comes through first or at all . Honestly, right now I am just trying to keep it together for I am feeling pretty depleted.My friend M found a perfect song to share just how I am feeling called "Be Strong". Thanks M !
lovingly posted by Corinne