Sunday, January 31, 2010

Trip Pics

Here are a few pics of Vladivostok, pic of us at a temple in Seoul Korea and a body pic of our little B.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Our Experience

We arrived home yesterday after leaving Vladivostok on Friday and then spending a couple days in Korea.

Where do I begin? So many thoughts,emotions,highs and lows but, most importantly we are so grateful we listened to the promptings to come despite things turning out differently then we had expected.Sometimes we just cannot comprehend how we are divinely lead to situations we would have not thought.

We arrived in Vladovostok on Saturday the 16th and settled in at the hotel. We met several families there who were on trip two and already had there children.On Sunday we went for a walk in the neighborhood down to the completely frozen solid "beach". We kept following the music and found a skating rink there where many were enjoying there afternoon in -29 C weather!! We did not last too long it was just sooo cold!!

Monday morning finally arrived and we went to the orphanage to see sweet baby girl. She was so precious! We held her and played with her for a couple hours the first visit.More then ANYTHING I wanted to feel peace and yet we did not have it. After our visits and many emails to our IA doctors we had to make a very painful decision to decline. I kept wanting to have that peace of going forth and yet we both knew we must listen to the answers we receive. As I held this precious child I prayed fervently that she would find a family who would and could take on what were unable to at this point in our lives. We have felt a peace I can not explain but, it does not make it any less painful with kinds of feeling I can not explain. As I gave the baby to the caregiver the last time I could feel those big, huge tears streaming down my face.I just wanted it to be different but, it was not going to be.I had to let go of my dream of having this precious child in our family. We knew coming that if we declined we would have to come home and wait for another referral.We both felt a strong urge to come and knew someday we would know why.

This is when we begin to see the plan for our family! We were told of a little boy who became available. At the beginning I was very hesitant because we were here for a girl! We knew however that are paperwork actually approves us for two. Something inside just kept telling us to go see this little boy over and over again ! The next day we drove to his orphanage. As we walked in the music room in the orphanage here came the most ADORABLE 2 year old little boy! I can not explain in words the thoughts I had other then I already knew this little boy .We just knew he was meant to be ours.We felt an instant connection with him as he did with us. He is not what we expected but we would have NEVER been lead to him because he did not meet our age requirements. We KNOW we had to be lead to him somehow even if it meant we had to decline another child.

So, this is where it gets even more interesting. We will not only bring home our little boy but, will continue our journey to our little girl from the same region . We do not know when we will receive another baby girl referral from Vladivostok but, we KNOW we are being led and we will follow. When we were doing our home study I am not really sure why we put down two kids other then for a "just in case scenario". Little did we really understand.

There is still so much to absorb from all that has transpired in such a short time. The extreme emotions of sadness to happiness to peace and seeing the plan for us is just a bit overwhelming.The roller coaster of all this is hard and yet I could of never imagined the plan for us.I will post a few pics when I get them down loaded.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Ready to come home

We are leaving Russia tonight.It has been overall a very hard week full of ups and downs, We are emotionally exhausted and are looking forward to gettting home. We have some sad news and some good news too. I have no regrets and we have had experiences that we will forever remember . There is so much to say but I just need to wait until I can wrap my brain around all the events of the week. I will post more when we return.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Last Minute Stress !

On the outside I appear pretty calm however, I am fooling everyone because things have been so stressful and I am a complete stress case! We have had to redo several documents due to our Home Study making a mistake and our Agency did not catch it until they were imformed from Russia. I have been running around redoing , notorizing and getting these documents authenticated again!The timing is so close that we will not recieve these docs until the day we leave!! Just plain stress!
In addition to the document stress we recieved a worrisome e mail regarding our little one.All this stress has obviously lowered my immune system and I am trying to kick a kidney infection. I feel like I am in a constant battle.
We are actually going and I am just trying to be strong and have faith. We will be leaving sunny seventy degree weather here in California in a few short days and heading to a cold russian winter ! ! It gives me chills just thinking about it since I pretty much wear sandles all year long ! Little one here we come!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Getting Ready !

In less then two weeks we will be in Russia!! Tickets have all been purchased and now we are just waiting on our Visa! I will be honest and say even though I am really exited I am nervous too.I know everyone always says this but, leaving the kids WILL be hard. I guess you always worry when your a mom. I have already made several lists even though the kids all know this stuff! Having a SN son makes things a bit more stressful for me too. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and have faith that all will be fine. We will be gone nine days because we are staying in Korea a couple days too. Lots of deep thoughts and feelings lately about what is to come.I keep praying that we will be in tune and know Gods will for us regarding this precious baby girl.