Nine will be Divine

Stepping Out In Faith.

2012-02-18T18:01:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to post something since I returned home from Vladivostok but, have found it difficult to put my thoughts and experiences into words.Sometimes, there are just not appropriate words to express one's journey in finding oneself. I guess I do not see myself as very eloquent writer so, it is is hard to express it all.The week in Vlad has certainly put my test of faith to an all time high.I/we pleaded and prayed to know what was the right answer for us.My heart and head seemed to be fighting with one another. I wondered how could I? Then How could I not ? The little girl in me wanted to look up in the sky and hope there was a note there ready to read with the answer.I KNEW however I had listen.... very carefully.... to what Heavenly Father would have us do.
My thoughts turned to our oldest son who is 21. When he was born we expected a perfect child.Silly to think about that know since perfection is in the eyes of the beholder.Did I love our son any less because he had a lifelong disability? NO !! Do I wish he was different? NO !!! Is he the perfect son for us? YES !!! He has taught me more then any one in my entire life !! YES, REALLY !!
Anyway, though it might seem crazy or foolish to some we have stepped out with a leap of faith and have proceeded with adopting our little Miss D along with Little boy D.They are not twins but, both are tiny and both weigh about 16 pounds.

We have been told to expect to go back for court around the middle to end of April.If any one is counting that will make us a family of 11.Going from 5 to 9 kids in a year and a half !!( Deep Breath) !! We CAN DO THIS !

Back in Russia

2012-02-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I finally arrived back in Vladivostok.This time we took a different route to get here. We have always gone through Seoul Korea to get here.Unfortunately Korean Air was not flying as often and I could not get on any flight going through Seoul.I took a different way through Beijing China which I would not recommend for anyone going to Vlad in the future. I have to go home that way but, never again.
Today I went back to the Department of Education to have permission to go see miss D.It was a long interaction with the well known person there but, she did tell me I had a lot of courage to come back again and wished us best of luck.After we went to the orphanage they brought her in all bundled like a mummy.It took like 5 minutes just to get everything off.Had to talk to the doctors regarding all the medical issues and tests and have the harsh reality once again became real as I held this sweet precious child. The next few days will be spent getting more answers and spending more time with her and making a decision to see what is ultimately best for everyone.I feel very strongly it is important for me to be here with her no mater what the decision will be.
Tomorrow I will get to see our little guy as well. We still need a name to decide on for this little munchkin !

Always a twist

2012-01-25T19:39:00.000-08:00

Well, we are moving along nicely getting our documents close to completion for court for our soon to be baby boy( who will be a year old soon). HOWEVER, We have also made a decision to return Back to Vlad and re visit the precious little girl we met back in December.She is never far from our minds and soooo .... we are going to go see her again and determine whether we could possibly can bring her home as well. It has been a wild ride the last few weeks to determine whether or not we could even reconsider reversing our initial decision. We have made plans to return to Vladivostok end of next week. We will have a chance to see her again with added info we have learned over the past month or so. .We will also see our baby boy who is in the same orphanage as little miss .We are on a bit of a crazy ride so, Iam just hanging on and trusting God to lead us to what is in store for us.There seems to always be an amazing twists and turns in our lives plus I am certainly putting on a lot of flyer miles !!So , it may be that we will have our four youngest children be ages 4,3, almost 2, and 1 !! Yikes !

Family search

2012-01-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to write a bit about our experience with doing a birth search for our little Russians.I really had no intention of doing a search when we first started our adoption .It was not until shortly after they were home something told me it would someday make a difference for our children.I also wished to tell their relatives back in Russia that they were loved and treasured. We were fortunate to learn of a wonderful man through another family that adopted from Vlad who did family searches in and around the region of Vladivostok. We did not know if we would learn much since our info was some what sketchy.I can not express how much joy it brought to open up a video of our daughters birth mother and not only see an incredible resemblance to our daughter but, have her speak of her little daughter.Absolutely pricless beyond words ! Then a few days later we also received a video of our son when he was a baby. Such precious treasures that are just priceless.We feel really blessed to have received so much info and for our searcher Illich to be so diligent in his work for families. I am so glad we did it !

Reminder Day

2012-01-17T17:35:00.000-08:00

18 years ago today we lived in Northridge California.We lived just a mile away from the epicenter of the Northridge Quake when it hit. It was just after 4 in the morning the the earth's furry showed its power.There really is not anything like being literally thrown out of bed with the loud frightening noise of the earth moving and shaking underneath you as well as hearing gas explosions very close near by.As our minds quickly grasped that this was not just a little shaker our minds raced to get to our babies and get out but, when the shaking is so hard it prevents you from getting anywhere fast and you realize just how vulnerable we all are.When we got out it soon became apparent our home was no longer livable as many were around our neighborhood.It was red tagged and our family was forced to move.Our family eventually resettled in a new home not far away but, the reminder of that day makes us always remember to be prepared both temporally and spiritually for things we may not expect.

little hands

2012-01-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Oh my, there is so much to tell. It was a really hard trip back to Russia. I wish these children could all receive desperate medical attention before serious medical issues arise. . I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all better for some of these precious children.I will probably open a private blog to share our story of a little girl I had hoped to become one of ours. Unfortunately we will not be able to bring her home but, will help her with what she needs medically.She will always be connected to us due to circumstances. As I left and snuggled her with a blanket made just for her I promised her she is loved and would do all I can to help her and others who need medical help but, do not get it due to lack of funds.So much could be prevented !!I often wonder if we would have gotten there sooner would things be the same?I do know my eyes were once again opened to do all I can.

However we will still be bringing home another little one. HE is a precious baby boy!He was sporting a pretty Pink outfit!Yes, this will change.It has been a bit of changing gears for us but, we are exited to bring this little guy home.I was not really expecting to bring home a baby but, he really is and is precious !Do not know exactly when we will return but, am thinking probably April or May for court. Russia have changed the waiting period after court from 10 to 30 days so we will have to make another trip to bring him home.

Totally Exausted

2011-12-09T01:52:00.000-08:00

I am still in Russia. I am so emotionally and physically exhausted with all that has happened this week.It is all so intense it is hard to write about right now.I am just so mentally exhausted trying to make life changing decisions when things keep changing.We have had to make some decisions this week that are just hard .REALLY HARD and PAINFUL to my heart !
There have been some nice moments like returning to my children's former orphanage and sharing hugs and pictures of the kids with them.I was able to see both orphanage directors and their former caretakers. They of course loved the pics and donations.They were very interested in our children's lives and development.Everyone here has been very kind and supportive despite all the drama this week.I usually do pretty well under stress but, this week the water works just kept coming.
When I return and know more about our decisions I will share a bit more of our story.

Here We Go Again !

2011-11-29T17:11:00.000-08:00

In a few days I will be off again to the place I could have never imagined I would go back to....at least for a long time!! Yes, I am really going back to Russia! Not only to Russia but, to the same orphanage our son lived in.There is a long story behind the last couple sentences which I will have to explain later.I am still a bit overwhelmed with it all since we were not actively pursuing to expand our family but, some interesting and very unusual circumstances has us going back.The last couple months we have been very busy updating our home study , getting registered in region,doing tons of documents, and recieved our visa. We will need to make some important decisions this next week regarding this little one so, keep us in your thoughts and prayers please.

BTW,Today a year ago we returned home from Russia with our little ones. What an amazing year for them and us !

1 Year Already? Now and Then

2011-11-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

One year ago this week we picked the kids up from their orphanages in the Vladivostok region.What an amazing difference a year can make!They were such brave little souls but, had such sadness in their eyes. Now a year later I would call them happy, active, fun, full of life ,love and spunk ! They are doing really well overall. They both speak in full sentences. Brock still remembers some Russian as sometimes he will still say DA !They attend a wonderful preschool in the morning and love it !We are just blessed to have them in our family! Life is busy ! OK, I mean really busy ! Next post I will share more about our new adventure we are embarking on.Sometimes we do what our hearts tell us to even though most of the world might wonder why !

Our Little Russians

2011-08-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Switzerland

2011-08-03T18:50:00.001-07:00

We have enjoyed our extended stay this summer in the land of my birth. We are back in the US again and getting ready to go back to school in a couple weeks. We are doing a few beach trips and a lot of pool time now since we did not do too much of that in Europe.The little ones have really grown ! ! They both gained over a pound and a half while in Switzerland.I am sure the fresh Swiss milk and cheese and alpine air did them a lot of good.It is so wonderful to see how far our little munchkins have come since coming home only 8 months ago.Many adventures coming up this fall.One thing we are doing is a birth family search.Our searcher will be going to Vladivostok soon for several families doing a search.I am hoping that through this we will be able to do more genealogy work for them.

Italy Adventures

2011-07-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

We have had some great times in Europe for the past month. We took several side trips from our home base in Morschach Switzerland one of which was to Italy.The trains are fast and fabulous and gets you to places very quickly.Always a bit hectic with all the kids but we manage just fine.( well,most of the time) We did manage to lose Brock while in Venice. I am so anal about keeping track of everyone and yet some how Brock slipped out of site.One minute he was in the stroller next to me and the next minute he was not. Yikes ! ! After about 20 long minutes of panic and prayers he was found !lets just say we did not leave him out of our site again for a second !Not one second !

Greetings from Switzerland !

2011-06-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

We are enjoying being back in my homeland for a good portion of our summer.It is always so wonderful to be back.We have spent most of our time in the Alps so far. Yesterday we went up to Zermatt where the Matterhorn is.Next week we will head down to Italy for a bit of shopping. Our little Russians/Americans/Swiss are doing just fine here. They continue to show good signs of attachment to us.They just seem to blend in no matter where they are.

6 months ours...then and now

2011-05-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

6 months ago today our little ones left their life in an orphanage behind.On November 18th 2010 we started the day by making the two and a half hour drive from Vladivostok to Ussyrisk to pick up Brock from the orphanage.It was a very cold day with temperatures well below freezing. All the children in Brock's "groupa" seemed to know what was going on when we arrived at the orphanage.His caretakers all came in and kissed him a tearful goodbye and told him to have a happy life.Priceless pictures were taken of his roommates and caretakers.Everything was pretty rush rush and we quickly changed his clothes,bundled him up to Russian standards and we were off to get Milana at her orphanage back in Vladivostok.Brock just soaked everything up while driving to get Milana. It was like an entire new world for him. He did get car sick (poor little guy)but, I knew that he might being the roads were very rough and bumpy.We were running late to pick up Milana so everything happened at lightning speed.The orphanages keep to a very strict schedule.We returned to the Vlad Inn at around 6pm and had both our precious ones with me forever !I can play the movie in my mind as if it were yesterday.

Fast forward 6 months later,they are like two completely different little children. We just can not imagine our lives without them anymore.It has not always been easy with two children adjusting to family life but, so very rewarding.Now that they know English most people are just amazed that they have only been with us for 6 months.We continue to work on some minor issues but, overall they are doing very well adjusting family life here in California.

First Beach Day

2011-04-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday the little ones had their first experience at the beach here in California with actually playing in the water.While we were in Russia we took them to the beach near the Vlad Inn in Vladivostok but, it certainly was a different experience with the frozen sea there.The older boys wanted to go surfing and boogie boarding so we headed over to one of the surfer beaches pretty close to our home. What a joy it was to watch Brock and Milana experience another first. Brock was in beach heaven ! He loves the water and could not get enough of it. When the waves knocked him over he was still all smiles. Milana was a little more reserved but enjoyed the sand play. When she got wet she did not like getting dirty with the wet sand. I guess she is just all girl in that way.They both loved watching their brother Bryce and Papa surf.I am sure this will be only one of many beach days they will enjoy as they grow up as little Californians.

blog to book

2011-04-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine shared with me the site sharedbook.com which you can turn your blog into a book. You had a variety of choices from hard or soft cover, what cover design you like,and what posts you want to print. I was pleasantly surprised how nice it turned out. The paper and picture quality are really nice.It is definitely worth checking out if you have interest in doing a book to remember your experiences. It was really simple to do and much easier the scrap booking.(at least for me with seven kids)

Autism Awareness

2011-04-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

April is autism awareness month.When I had my first child almost 21 years ago I knew very little about autism.It was not until our son was almost 3 and diagnosed with autism that our lives changed forever.As a very young mother I did not expect this to be part of our world however, we became engrossed in learning all we could to help our son reach his full potential. Those who have autistic kids know the amount of patience, commitment, financial sacrifices, advocating,and stress it takes to help their children navigate through this world when the world does not understand theirs.

Strides are being made to help these kids and adults but, the reality is Autism does not go away when you get older. Autistic children grow up to be Autistic adults.Figures now show 1 out of 150 children have some form of autism.As a mother of an autistic son I would NEVER trade this experience of learning and personal growth. I can honestly say our son has taught us much more than we can ever teach him.That being said there is a great need for more awareness, education, research,support and most of all acceptance of those with differences. If you love someone autistic or challenged in some way you will know they are more like us then different.

class 101 in smiling

2011-04-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

Our Virtual twins and language development

2011-03-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some interesting research on Virtual twins. Virtual twins is defined by psychologists as 2 children who have no genetic connection, who are less then 9 months apart, and grow up in the same family from a young age.By that definition are little Russians are virtual twins.Psychologists have done a number of studies to see how environment vs genetics plays out.From what I have noticed is that virtual twins is much like rearing fraternal twins. I have noticed some interesting twin like behaviors in our munchkins. What I find interesting is they have only known each other for a little over 4 months and yet they appear to have a very deep connection to one another and have some very classic twin behaviors.It will certainly be interesting to see their relationship in a few years.Would love to hear from any ones experiences with virtual twins.
On the subject of language development, it has been fascinating to see both Brock and Milana switch their primary language so quickly.Four months ago they only spoke Russian words to one another but understood a lot that was spoken to them in Russian and now they will only use English and Swiss words . They are now putting 3 to 4 words together.It is often a combination of both English and Swiss words but, it is so interesting that they do not use Russian words to speak even though still understand it. We have a couple people we know who speak to them often only in Russian and they clearly still understand it by their actions.Just interesting to see how many changes can take place in such a short amount of time.
They are certainly keeping us busy but we would not have it any other way !

The things we share

2011-03-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

One of the things I feel very strongly about is to document our lives through pictures,journals,letters,life books,blogs or any other way we can.I so appreciate those who wrote about my life before I came to the US. What I cherish now is that my adopted children and I share more then one may think. We do not share genetics but, we share some history. One of those things I have been trying to do is document as much as possible about the lives of adopted children in their life books.They each have a their own story before they entered our lives and hope that some day their families will appreciate it too.The top picture is of myself and brother 40 years ago in Warsaw Poland. The bottom pic is the day before we left Russia to come home with our children.

Temple Day

2011-03-03T15:07:00.000-08:00

This past weekend we had the great blessing of having our little adopted children Milana and Brock sealed to our family for time and all eternity. We had the sealing at the Los Angeles Mormon Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.It was a wonderful day to be surrounded by family and friends who have supported us through our adoption journey. We are so grateful for the blessings of the temple and know we can be together forever.It was a beautiful day despite the cold 40 something degree weather that we had here in Southern California last weekend. I know we are so spoiled in that regard. We are so happy our little ones are now forever ours !

Then and Now 3 months ours !

2011-02-21T18:24:00.001-08:00

Our little ones have been ours for just over three months now. It is so AMAZING to see the changes in them. I started organizing the pictures of our trips to Russia and getting their stories in an adoption/photo album book.That is a BIG job!!With this comes the reality of how our little ones have changed in such a short amount of time.It has been so sweet to look at pics with our little ones and have them look at pics of their little orphanage friends and kiss them through the computer.Every time we have looked at pics of Russia Little Brock says " Bye Bye Russia" then climbs on me and says " Brock Mama " and snuggles in.Little Milana especially had a special friend that was adopted at the same time.Every time she looks at a pic of her friend ( who know lives in the U.S. too) she screams for joy !! Sometimes I just tear up to think of all that they have had to go through in their short life.In less then a month we already start our first post placement report. Now that they are home time is just flying by so fast.We love our busy little blessings so much !

Making Progress !

2011-01-31T16:50:00.000-08:00

Certain things are no longer on my to do list since the kiddos came home.We have been busy !

We have seen several doctors.We have had pretty positive news regarding their health status. Milana has already made it on the growth chart for both weight and head circumference. She is 2 and a half and is now 25 pounds. Two pounds in weight gain so far.Brock is still not on the charts but, is growing and is up to 26 pounds.Other then an ear infection and cold they have been doing really well. They have been really troopers in regards to getting blood work done. We have been very fortunate that the sweet gal at the lab is Russian and she speaks Russian to them and makes the experience less traumatic.Their language skills are also continuing to explode with words.Brock loves to say "OH MY GOODNESS" and Milana always says "BYE BYE CAR".She is a go go go type of little girl.
Besides medical stuff, we applied and received their social security cards. We also got our passports stuff done as well. Our little ones are now proud citizens of three different countries.
The next week or so we will see if they qualify for any speech or OT.I will try to push for it but, with budget cuts I do not know.
Our little ones are becoming so much part of our family and each day I think of the miracle that they actually made it home !!

5 weeks home from Russia

2011-01-07T18:04:00.001-08:00

The children are doing great. They are growing and learning so much.I am amazed at how much they understand already and are beginning to say in English and Swiss. Each day we are thankful they are home and belong to us !! The stress of our adoption journey is SLOWLY beginning to fade as we grow to love them more each day. Yes, of course there are things we are working on with them being toddlers and having lived in an orphanage much of their babyhood but, we expected them to go through an adjustment period and learn to be part of a family. Our journey to bring them home was one of the most difficult experiences with all the uncertainties of not knowing how the story would end however, we have now moved on to our new journey to teach them our family values and learn of their great purpose as sons and daughters of a loving God.It is the most sweetest thing to see them fold their arms and bow there heads to pray.The feeling of completeness has arrived for our family and we are so grateful.

We just love them !

2010-12-14T17:33:00.000-08:00

We are a very busy family these days. Milana and Brock are doing well.Brock is mellow and charming and Milana is a firecracker and full of endless energy and very stubborn! They are picking up english very quickly.Brock is still having skin rashes probably due to allergies we are still trying to figure out but, getting better.Both are eating very well and have stopped hoarding food so much.Milana has already gained almost 2 pounds.I think she will catch up very quickly. Brock is still the same but, eating well.They are the same size so most people think they are twins.They are picking up english very quickly and are obviously liking all the attention they recieve from their siblings.They have enjoyed wagon rides, looking at christmas lights and running around outside without being bundled up like little russians in December.They are becoming little Californians and getting their vitamin D .Having two little toddlers is an adjustment again but, we are just so happy they are here.

We are HOME HOME HOME !!

2010-12-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

After a LONG 28 hour journey from Russia we are finally home with our kids !! Getting through the airports was bit challenging at times but, all considered they did pretty well. We are used to traveling internationally with children when we go back to my homeland Switzerland with the other kids so,I knew to just get through it.The kids are settling in nicely.The main issue right now is their sleep. Both are having a hard time letting themselves fall asleep. This will take some time. Miss Milana has already started to test her limits with all the over stimulation at home too. Parenting has already started.One of the most wonderful things however, I have seen is how Brock and Milana who NEVER met each until Gotcha day(since they were in separate orphanages 3 hours apart) have been a wonderful comfort to one another. Most people think they are twins because they are the same size even though Brock is 8 months older.Both kids are small but, I can already see some filling out.They have really enjoyed all the attention from all their older siblings. The first night home all of their 5 older siblings and auntie gave them a bath. They loved it !! The next few weeks will be really busy with appointments plus all the Christmas stuff !!I am not sure how I am going to get it all done but,now that I am the mom of 7 I know sometimes some things may just do not make it off the list so prioritizing will be in order.I can finally say this 3 year long and difficult journey to bring our children home has ended and now we can begin our new journey together !!We will have lots of stories to tell since we can also say now we made it through court with the SAME judge as the women who sent her child back to Russia and almost halted Russian adoptions! That was an experience !! I am just SO HAPPY TO BE HOME WITH OUR CHILDREN !!!!

Our first week together

2010-11-24T14:39:00.000-08:00

We have gotten through the first week !! Overall we are adjusting pretty well although it is exhausting doing this pick up trip on my own with two little ones.I will be glad when hubby comes to pick us us for the trip home! Personalities are already starting to emerge and some orphanage behaviors as well. Nothing that I was not prepared for just hard to see.Both children EAT EVERYTHING and eat it very fast.I have noticied the last couple days they are finally slowing down the food intake just a bit.It is funny trying to teach them to use a sippy cup because they already drink from a regular really well.Miss Milana is a good sleeper so far but, Little Brock is definitely NOT.
The last week we have been busy getting Passports,Visa's and new birth certificates.Yesterday we went to the US embassy so, all that is left is for the courier to get back from Moscow to register children.It has been relatively nice weather here for this time of year so I have been able to take the kids for walks. Although that all changed last night and it is now very snowy and Cold.After 4 trips to Russia this year I am so happy to go home on Monday ! When we return home we will be having our own Thanksgiving feast !!

Introducing our children... Milana and Brock

2010-11-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

Milana Anastasia and Brock Bogdan

A Secret Prayer

2010-11-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

I have thought over and over again of a touching experience we had last Sunday in Church while attending the small branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Vladivostok.It was not easy to find the building in downtown Vlad and we had to take an early train to get there on time plus it was a really cold morning but, I am so glad we pushed through it to attend church for the lord had a great gift in store.A gift that will forever touch our lives and build our testimony that God hears and answers prayers. At the end of the last hour of church a beautiful young 19 year Russian girl who joined the church three years ago sat down next to me.She knew why we were in Russia and very much wanted to speak to me.She told me how she wanted to share something with me that she has never shared with anyone else before. The deep conviction of something in her heart she wanted to share with me(whom she has never met before that day)had me glued to my seat and at the same time felt an immediate connection to one another.This beautiful young woman Anastasia began to tell me of how she was an orphan growing up in Vladivostok. She as a young baby had been in the same orphanage as our little girl.Anastasia told me of many of the hardships that linger on in life as one remains an orphan. When she joined the church her life changed for good.She had never felt truely loved by anyone until the missionaries found her and was taught the gospel and baptized. She has felt truely "adopted" by being a part of the church family here in the small branch who care deeply about one another.Since she was baptized however she has had a secret prayer she never shared with anyone.Her eyes began to water as she told me I was the answer to her secret prayer.I just could not comprehend how this could be but, I continued to listen.In a quivering voice she told me she had prayered that someday someone from our Faith would come adopt a child from her former orphanage. She had thought that would be an impossible possibility.Anastasisia's secret prayer has been answered and yet little did Anastasia know that our prayer of getting confirmation once again of his will for us was also answered by her sharing her secret prayer.After this experience we chose to use Anastasia for our little girls middle name to never forget a young girls prayer and how we were the lucky ones tobe able fulfill her prayer request.
In a couple days I return to Russia again FOR THE LAST TIME to pick up the little ones. The children will be ours completely in just a few days !Despite the long trip I am glad I came home to be with the other kids over the 10 day waiting period after court.

Successful Court

2010-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

It was a day to forever remember yesterday !! We started out the day visiting the children and trying to prepare them for the upcoming transition in their lives. We then went with our translater and had some lunch at our favorite restaurant at the mall like place downtown Vladivostok. We then walked in FREEZING cold windy/snowlike rain to the courthouse.It was only a couple blocks away but, WOW it was COLD.We met our Russian cordinater at the courthouse where she went over the last few things of importance. After a two hour court hearing of intense questioning and being asked VERY detail questions on each child plus EVERY aspect of our lives our petition was approved. Our tough judge (think Hansen adoption case)was not going to let that kind of situation happen again.We are glad we prepared ourselves and really felt the Holy Ghost guiding our words as we spoke.

We are heading home today to see our children after being here Russia in for over two weeks on this court trip! I will return to Russia in a week when I can pick the children up after the 10 day waiting time.Thank you for all your prayers ! Right now I am just looking forward to seeing my kids and to sleeping on my own bed !

A few pics of Vladivostok

2010-11-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

Long Russia update The good and not so good

2010-10-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago we did our required 8 doctor russian physicals here in Vladivostok. It was interesting to say the least.The physicals took place in what they call a hospital but, used to be a former mansion to a single family before the revolution.It had beautiful ornate moldings that were interesting to see.The actual physical took place in like a ballroom type room with very little privacy.It lasted about 45 minutes and then we got to pay the hefty bill.It was definitly the most interesting physical I can ever remember.
We have been able to see both children.The first day we drove the two hours north to see little B.The very first thing that I sensed from his deep rich brown eyes was relief. I will not ever forget his expression on his face as I am sure he has wondered if we would ever come back.He is such a sweet and loving little boy. he has a nasty rash/infection on his head that we are trying to figure out what it is.I do not know if it is scabies or something else. He has not grown much at all.His slender build body makes him look even smaller.We also went to see our miss M. She also has not grown much. She too is just so small for being a little over two.Miss M is very attached to her caretakers and was having a harder time at first.However at the end of our second visit she was hanging on to my neck for dear life.I do think she will have a harder transition at first because she is a bit confused at what is happening.
Yesterday we had our first court date. Our judge(much more on that subject after we return home) is requiring two courts because of two childen. We had our first court date yesterday and we did just fine. We knew we would have to go back for a second court when we came but, we were told the second court would be within a few days of the first. The judge however did not give the final court date for another 10 days !! We are trying to change our tickets to come home for the ten day waiting period but, flights out of here those days are full.We are still figuring things out and whether I will be able to go home for those ten days now .I am trying to just roll with the punches here but, its hard because I have 5 kids at home!!In the meantime we are trying to stay positive and see what else we can possibly see here in Vladivostok.

We have arrived !

2010-10-25T00:09:00.000-07:00

After 29 hours of travel we arrived once again in Vladivostok. We are no longer just known as the California family but, they actually know our name here at the Hotel.Even the lady down at the little grocery store remembered us and wondered if we were back for another adoption. I am not sure we were able to communicate we were still in the process with the first one.Anyway, we are glad to be here and get this process finalized.
Tomorrow we have our Russian physicals. I am not too stressed about it. There have been so many stressful things in this adoption that this just is not one of them.I certainly would not have gone through this process if I was not heathy enough.

Our first court date is this Friday and the second the following Friday.Then we have to wait out the ten day waiting period. That means we have to be here for two weeks before the ten day waiting period even begins.It is just too long for me to be away from the family so, We will return home for those ten days an then I come back to get the children.Yes, that means we will have made 4 trips to Russia to complete this adoption.
I am finally starting to feel like this actually will happen.I am a bit nervous about court since we have heard this judge is very tough !Plus we still have hurdles to jump.
In the meantime we will get some walks in down by the bay before the snow starts. It was a lovely 26 degrees today when we arrived.

Finally !! Court Date !!

2010-10-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

Waiting NINE months since trip 1 to Russia for a court date yesterday we FINALLY found out we have 2 court dates for our little ones. Long story I can not go into here but, we have to be in Russia in 7 days !! Our first court date is Oct 29th and the second within a week.Due to our complicated case I may need to stay the entire time which would be over a month in Russia.I am somewhat paniced over this since running a household of presently seven is a full time job and my mommy heart is missing my kids already.I have a wonderful brother and famiy who is taking over but, it is a HUGE task to take over a large family like ours . I was planning on coming home for the 10 day waiting period and then going back. We are trying to figure it all out here in the next day or so since we have to leave by the end of the week!!! We have our visa but, our bloodwork is still in the works because they told us it is only good for 30 days now.We have been waiting waiting waiting and now we are rushing like crazy people trying to get it all together in less then a week !

We still do not know whether one of our little ones will be cleared to come home with us but, we hope and pray what ever the outcome that our hearts will be at peace and know we have come and have done all we can.

My thoughts of this journey

2010-09-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

I wish I could still find more joy in this long adoption journey right now.

In my opinion,some laws and rules do not always serve the best interest of children.

Despite the fact that our judge did not like our official F.B.I. clearances because it did not have the wording she liked I need to keep reminding myself I have never committed any crime EVER.I have never even gotten a traffic ticket ever !

Trying to come up with redundant type of documents over and over again to please a judge who does not appear to be adoption friendly makes my heart sad and weary.

When you are told that you will not know whether your little girl will be allowed to be cleared for adoption after all due to a complicated situation until you are in court makes me fear a broken heart.

When you have done ALL you can,faith and prayer is all that is left.

Trusting God and accepting the way it turns out takes courage.

I have learned to really become a MAMA BEAR to fight for my children that in my heart our already mine.

A mommy heart can heart deeply!

It is not my nature to ask for much but, any extra prayers for us would be appreciated that the judge will give us a court date on the third try by our Russian coordinater to bring one or both of our little ones home.This Mamma is ready to end this journey to bring them home.

through the eye of the needle

2010-08-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

The last couple weeks to me have been like a test to see how we will respond and deal with challenges that really feel like you are being put through the eye of a needle.The phrase "when it rains it pours" certainly describes our lives lately.

In the last couple weeks we have had our oldest son in the hospital again. He needed to be at a top notch medical center here California to recieve top expertise on his needs.It takes over an hour each way to get there with L.A. traffic. To say the least it has been very stressful. He is back home now and doing OK.At the same time school started here and I am having to deal with 4 different schools and schedules.Then we are right in the middle of a total kitchen remodel and have had endless delays and hitches therefore having NO kitchen for WAY to long and trying to feed a family of seven good healthy meals is really hard when you do not have a kitchen. I am so grateful for our friends and church family who have helped us survive the last couple weeks with food and support. On top of all that "our" judge in Vlad requested additional "New" documentation for court. Between hospitals.,schools, kitchen drama, I have been busy gathering these new requirment/documents. With all that being said, we are hoping to finally get a court date this week since I do not know what else anyone could possibly know about us !We were told to get our visa so, we have done that already. We have also done our required xrays and bloodwork again.

It certainly feels like we are being tested and pushed through a needle but, yet I am feeling a peace that comes from within that I know only comes from my believe that these things only make us to grow and realize we are stronger then we might think.I am not saying I am enjoying these times but,I am trying to view it in a positive way.

This week should bring good news. We do hope that both Little B and M will both be coming home soon.We still do not know for sure whether one of our little ones will be cleared for adoption after all. How and whenever ever this story ends we will always know we have done all that we could and now the rest we give to the lord.

hanging on by a thread

2010-08-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

I have been quiet not because things are quiet but, because I am really unable to write too much at this time since this is a public blog and It would really only be a major rant session. There are so many things that I think should be known but, at this point I must hold it private.Everything we could possibly do has been done.One of my greatest fears however with this adoption may end up happening to us. In the meantime our documents are all needing updating and now not only need an immigration extention but, will probably have to apply for another approval after we are home with one and go back again.An immigration approval is a one way ticket home for the children only if they come home together.The frusration level has been high and I just trying to keep an attitude that heavenly father has this situation under his eye and knows what is best more then us.I am trying to hang on even if it is by a mere thread.If we recieved a court date by the second week of September for BOTH would be a great blessing and it would avoid so much stress and save us so much money we were not expecting to have to spend !This experience has really been one of the most difficult things to get through.It has been 8 months since we met our little B.

This is just hard !

2010-07-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

We were hoping to recieve some good news this week instead were told there is a problem with one of our little ones clearance for adoption.We will not know the outcome for another 2 to 3 weeks so everything is again on hold.I think of all we have done to have this adoption completed and am just feeling completely depleted.No matter what we will now be delayed again !!I have held,hugged,kissed,played and promised my babies their mommy and daddy would be back again soon.Our USCIS immigration approval expires in September so now we have to deal with that too!I have not many words just feeling sad and depleted for my little ones and us !I know I have got to keep my faith that things will work out the way they are suppose to but, it does not make it any easier.

Some get away time ! Still waiting too !!

2010-07-01T17:48:00.000-07:00

We spent last week in the Pacific Northwest up in Oregon and Washington State. We saw the sun only a couple times so I guess we are a bit spoiled living in So.California.Lots of green and a change of scenery though !
On the adoption front,we have heard NOTHING! There have still been no court dates for the Vladivostok region.We found out that Fed Ex had lost our package to Russia containing the last court Documents. After three days it was located and did make it to Vlad.I have totally given this adoption experience over to the lord. I am emotionally exhausted and am running out of steam to worry any more. I just hate having our babies keep waiting and for us missing out on their childhood with their family.We are so hoping everything is complete by end of September because a big chunk of our paperwork will expire including our home study.I feel like my main job during the last THREE years has been doing adoption paperwork.I have heard the judges are very picky so who knows what else needs to be done.We had been told court would most likely be in July which now seems unlikely.So, as we have done so much of we continue to do....wait.

Dear little ones

2010-06-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

Dear precious ones,
We have been thinking of you everyday almost nonstop ! We are waiting for you as patiently as we know how.We hope you enjoyed your birthday gifts sweet miss M.You are so small for your age but,I know you will be doing much growing when you come home. Little B, I hope you are enjoying your gifts too and hope you are able to get outside and feel the sun on your face a bit each day.
We have started preparing the house and getting ready for both of you.It is going to be a bit of an adjustment again to have 2 young little toddlers in our home .We are still trying to figure out which bedroom to use and whether to put you together in one room.Mom has loved buying cute little sundresses and hats for you little M.I have also gotten several ride on toys that you love to ride little B.
All of your brothers and sisters are exited for both of you to come home.They are exited for you to be able to learn to enjoy swimming in our pool and enjoy going to the beach.I have a feeling you are both going to love playing in the warm sand and before you know it you will probably become little fish and enjoy playing in the water.
We love you little ones and will be there soon to bring you home !

Great achievments !!

2010-06-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

What a busy week celebrating great achievments!Since I do not talk much about our kids(who we already have) on this blog I want them to feel special too.
Brianna graduated this week and also recieved special recognition and honors for having ranked having the 4th highest G.P.A. in her graduating class.She also recieved a nice plaque for that honor too.During her junior and senior year she also took college courses and now already has a year of college behind her.She is looking forward to Brigham Young University in the near future.
Last week Bri also graduated from our youth seminary program for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.She was at church every morning at 6.30 sharp from Monday through Friday during the school year for All four years of high school. After seminary she would head straight to school.This is not an easy task !!Brianna's favorite qoute is "stand up for what you believe even if you stand alone"
We are very proud of her !
Caroline made us very proud as well graduating from Middle school and recieving a Presidents award for her high academic grades and leadership abilities. She is only going into high school but, is already taking her first class at our nearby community college.
Good job my girls !

Home Again

2010-06-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

Home again just in time for all the graduations this coming week. I made it home just in time for seminary graduation for Brianna on Sunday. Now this coming week is High School graduation for Bri, Middle school graduation for Caroline and 6th grade commencement for Bryce.

On another note,I am happy to be home and know much has been accomplished this past week or so in Russia.Our sweet girl miss M is precious and so sweet ! Our little B is too ! We am very anxious to bring them home because they really need to be loved and nourished !! Ok, I am really going to be buying cream to put in food to get more calories in them.I was able to get more clear answers being there then from what our agency could give us.Not that I was happy with the answers I recieved but, at least I do not need to wonder what is really going on. For those waiting for court dates in our region need some more patience.The Hansen case has greatly affected this region.Hopefully the Vlad Inn will be full of adoptive parents and children again soon unlike the silence of my experience last week.I just really need my babies home !

Our sweet little girl and boy !

2010-05-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

I arrived here in Vladivostok a couple days ago. I have spent precious time with our soon to be little girl. She is a happy little one and sat on my lap being very content unpacking everything I had in her little bag.She then proceeded to unpack my purse and find all sorts of little goodies. She feed me lots of goldfish first before she finally ate one. She is just precious and although small for her age seems very much on track developmently.Looks like I will be shopping some more for a size smaller then I thought.We are so exited to bring her and little B home. I will spend the next couple days with both our little ones and then head back home until our court date.Things are very slow here still and but will pick up again when the treaty between Russia and United States is signed. Patience Patience Patience!!!

UP UP AND AWAY ! !

2010-05-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

OK, so where do I begin? First, I will share what I have been wanting to for a while now that I haven't because of all the Russia adoption drama lately.We have recieved and accepted a referral of a little girl too! When I first saw her picture I immediatly thought she reminded me of someone. When my mother saw the pic she knew exactly who she reminded me of. It was me ! I compared pics of myself at her age when me and my own family still lived in eastern Europe when I was a little girl and it is amazing the similarities.There is even one pic that I found where we both are wearing the thick tights and a bandana and have very chunky cheeks!

I am traveling this weekend to Vladivostok to see Miss M and also visit our little B. I am traveling solo this time because we will be going back soon again hopfully to have court for both children. Long story we will save for LATER!Last few weeks I have started SHOPPING for little girl things again. I have bought mostly 18-24 months size cloths for her.
We will see if they fit! The last good piece of info is little B's release letter has come!

Life lessons

2010-04-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago Victoria came home from school somewhat quiet. Apparently several kids at school were talking about the little boy sent back to Russia by his adoptive mother.Several kids at school asked her if little B was going to have stay in the orphanage now?( All the kids and teacher know about little B ). We had spent time talking to each of the kids about the reality of things possibly being delayed to bring little B home because we did not have a court date yet before all the fiasco started.Victoria then said "It is not fair Mom. We did not do anything bad and you would not ever do what that lady did. Little B did not do anything bad either.Besides we already have clothes and cool toys for him to play with and we WANT him to be in our family.Can you tell those people in Russia that?" If only it were that easy.Still waiting for a court date... hopefully.

Trying to keep the faith

2010-04-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

I am still in shock and numb over the news of the Russian boy returned to Russia on a one way ticket with a note by his adoptive mother.I can not even grasp the idea that a mother can think about doing that!This little boy is from the same region as our little B. This incident has Russian officials outraged and want to suspend all adoptions to US families.I have literally felt sick and grief to think what this may mean for us.We are soo close to a court date! Please pray for all families effected by this and the children who have loving families waiting to bring them home. I wanted to share some good news but, now we will have to wait and see.This is just so hard!

The Good And Not So Good

2010-03-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

So, why is it that good news seems to always come with not so good news in the world of International Adoption.I am so ready to get off this roller coaster ride but, we ARE going to stay on until it is over.The ups and downs are really wearing on me and yet I see the miracles along the way that keep me going on this journey.
The not so good news include...
1. Some judges in Vladivostok is now requiring FBI clearances on top of state clearances for court. We already have them from when we were adopting from Kyrgyzstan but,Russia requires them to be less then 6 months old.Of course this happens right before we get a court date! We did get them done but, they are normally taking 13 weeks to process!! We are working on getting them expedited so we will see what happens.
2.As told a few weeks ago our region is also now requiring the 8 doctor medicals to be done in Russia. Again we just finished up our medicals in the states going through hoops to do them!It was like a full time job getting medicals for 7 people!We were however informed we will probably be able to do them in Vladivostok and not have the extra expense of going through Moscow.
3.The release letter from Moscow for little B had not arrived in Vlad yet! It as been over two months!
Some times my human nature begins to just get so frustrated with all this but, then there is GOOD news that only God could orchestrate. Hopefully in about two weeks I will be able to share what it is. The timing would be perfect so,I am trying hard to remember God has it all under control.

Waiting,Teeth Woes, and Laundry Mania

2010-03-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

So, we are waiting sort of patiently for a Court Date ! Honestly, I am not expecting it to come for another few weeks because two documents had be changed slightly. Since hubby and our oldest adult son have the same name they wanted us to designate one to father and one to son so there is no confusion. It was not a big deal to do but, it did entail us to get them authenticated again.I do not even want to know how much we have spent just on authenticating alone for this adoption since each document is 20
dollars here in California.

While waiting I have been spending WAY to much time at the dentist! I THOUGHT I was being smart by getting a crown that was recommended before I went back to Russia for a month. Well... my "experienced" dentist compromised a root in the tooth and now have mega nerve pain in my jaw ! Lets just say losing 5 pounds on my small frame makes my body look and weigh like a twelve year old ! Now we have to wait and see if I will need a root canal. This is not what I need or want before I leave for Russia ! ! UGH UGH UGH !!

My other keeping busy project has been to organize a better laundry system in our home. 7 people plus having kids in sports generates A LOT of laundry !!I am one of those that likes everything organized but, the laundry battle is uphill so I am working on a new and improved system.Now if only I could catch the sock snatcher !

Moving Forward

2010-02-18T16:45:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy few weeks getting all the mega paperwork done for the Court Dossier. Trying to explain and convince people to do things a certain way with certain wording has proven to be quite challenging again. I spent HOURS on the phone trying to get a two sentence letter from our mortgage company. They kept telling me they do not write letters with an original signature and a recent mortgage statement and history is all they can do for me. Finally had to go to the main office building THREE times to get this one letter with a real persons signature! Good grief!! I also seriously do not want to have to go back to a CPA anytime soon and explain 1000 times that things have to be done a certain way!! Anyway, after feeling like this has been my FULL TIME job our Court Dossier is complete and on its way to Russia. We may have to redo medicals again because they are only good for three months and our release letter for little B had not arrived yet, so we will see.

Trip Pics

2010-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pics of Vladivostok, pic of us at a temple in Seoul Korea and a body pic of our little B.

Our Experience

2010-01-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

We arrived home yesterday after leaving Vladivostok on Friday and then spending a couple days in Korea.

Where do I begin? So many thoughts,emotions,highs and lows but, most importantly we are so grateful we listened to the promptings to come despite things turning out differently then we had expected.Sometimes we just cannot comprehend how we are divinely lead to situations we would have not thought.

We arrived in Vladovostok on Saturday the 16th and settled in at the hotel. We met several families there who were on trip two and already had there children.On Sunday we went for a walk in the neighborhood down to the completely frozen solid "beach". We kept following the music and found a skating rink there where many were enjoying there afternoon in -29 C weather!! We did not last too long it was just sooo cold!!

Monday morning finally arrived and we went to the orphanage to see sweet baby girl. She was so precious! We held her and played with her for a couple hours the first visit.More then ANYTHING I wanted to feel peace and yet we did not have it. After our visits and many emails to our IA doctors we had to make a very painful decision to decline. I kept wanting to have that peace of going forth and yet we both knew we must listen to the answers we receive. As I held this precious child I prayed fervently that she would find a family who would and could take on what were unable to at this point in our lives. We have felt a peace I can not explain but, it does not make it any less painful with kinds of feeling I can not explain. As I gave the baby to the caregiver the last time I could feel those big, huge tears streaming down my face.I just wanted it to be different but, it was not going to be.I had to let go of my dream of having this precious child in our family. We knew coming that if we declined we would have to come home and wait for another referral.We both felt a strong urge to come and knew someday we would know why.

This is when we begin to see the plan for our family! We were told of a little boy who became available. At the beginning I was very hesitant because we were here for a girl! We knew however that are paperwork actually approves us for two. Something inside just kept telling us to go see this little boy over and over again ! The next day we drove to his orphanage. As we walked in the music room in the orphanage here came the most ADORABLE 2 year old little boy! I can not explain in words the thoughts I had other then I already knew this little boy .We just knew he was meant to be ours.We felt an instant connection with him as he did with us. He is not what we expected but we would have NEVER been lead to him because he did not meet our age requirements. We KNOW we had to be lead to him somehow even if it meant we had to decline another child.

So, this is where it gets even more interesting. We will not only bring home our little boy but, will continue our journey to our little girl from the same region . We do not know when we will receive another baby girl referral from Vladivostok but, we KNOW we are being led and we will follow. When we were doing our home study I am not really sure why we put down two kids other then for a "just in case scenario". Little did we really understand.

There is still so much to absorb from all that has transpired in such a short time. The extreme emotions of sadness to happiness to peace and seeing the plan for us is just a bit overwhelming.The roller coaster of all this is hard and yet I could of never imagined the plan for us.I will post a few pics when I get them down loaded.

Ready to come home

2010-01-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

We are leaving Russia tonight.It has been overall a very hard week full of ups and downs, We are emotionally exhausted and are looking forward to gettting home. We have some sad news and some good news too. I have no regrets and we have had experiences that we will forever remember . There is so much to say but I just need to wait until I can wrap my brain around all the events of the week. I will post more when we return.

Last Minute Stress !

2010-01-11T13:12:00.000-08:00

On the outside I appear pretty calm however, I am fooling everyone because things have been so stressful and I am a complete stress case! We have had to redo several documents due to our Home Study making a mistake and our Agency did not catch it until they were imformed from Russia. I have been running around redoing , notorizing and getting these documents authenticated again!The timing is so close that we will not recieve these docs until the day we leave!! Just plain stress!
In addition to the document stress we recieved a worrisome e mail regarding our little one.All this stress has obviously lowered my immune system and I am trying to kick a kidney infection. I feel like I am in a constant battle.
We are actually going and I am just trying to be strong and have faith. We will be leaving sunny seventy degree weather here in California in a few short days and heading to a cold russian winter ! ! It gives me chills just thinking about it since I pretty much wear sandles all year long ! Little one here we come!

Getting Ready !

2010-01-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

In less then two weeks we will be in Russia!! Tickets have all been purchased and now we are just waiting on our Visa! I will be honest and say even though I am really exited I am nervous too.I know everyone always says this but, leaving the kids WILL be hard. I guess you always worry when your a mom. I have already made several lists even though the kids all know this stuff! Having a SN son makes things a bit more stressful for me too. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and have faith that all will be fine. We will be gone nine days because we are staying in Korea a couple days too. Lots of deep thoughts and feelings lately about what is to come.I keep praying that we will be in tune and know Gods will for us regarding this precious baby girl.

Travel Dates Trip One/ Paperwork Queen

2009-12-17T18:31:00.000-08:00

So, our first travel dates were actually set for this week. They however needed to be changed until after the Holidays.Fortunately we had not gotten our tickets so we were fine with it. Actually I felt really relieved because we would not have returned until Christmas Day and I really did not want to be away from the kids during Christmas.Our travel dates are now that we need to be in Vladivostok from Jan 17th to the 22nd.This gives me more time to prepare ourselves and the kids for when we are gone.Leaving a household with 5 kids that go to five different schools, homework,activities plus running the household is a very tall order for others to tackle . On a positive note I have been able to get a great start on the Court Dossier.I think we can get most of it done before we travel exept the medicals.They are only good for three months and I do not want to do them over AGAIN! We just finished our home study update AGAIN plus we needed to update a few docs.

A Beautiful Baby Girl !

2009-12-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

Three weeks ago we recieved a referral of a sweet baby girl in Vladivostok, Russia! It was not until last week that we FINALLY recieved her medicals though. We have ACCEPTED the opportunity to go meet this VERY TINY little one. This tiny petite little one is 12 months old. She was born premature and will have some catching up to do.
Our Travel dates are looking to be very soon!! I will know dates for sure in a few days. Looks like we are playing the adoption game of rushing then waiting then rushing again!
We are VERY exited but, go into this again with a guarded heart. We pray for wisdom,and divine guidance as we meet this adorable baby girl.

WAIT

2009-10-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

Author Unknown
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance,
and You tell me to wait?
I'm needing a "Yes", a go-ahead sign,
or even a "No" to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair,
defeated and taut and grumbled to God,
"So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed, then, to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could vie, and please you would be.
You would have what you want - but, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When the darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I five and I Save, for a start,
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The flow of my comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late
My most precious answer of all is still,

"Wait."

Update

2009-09-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I do not know how to begin other than to say thank you to all who have prayed,fasted and helped us in so many ways ! Being one that likes to be independent and have it all together it has been a bit difficult task to do.Having SO many kind acts of service and prayers have truly lifted our burdens.

The good news is that our son is home now and we are grateful for the progress that has been made. After driving an hour and a half each way every day to the hospital (Thanks to L.A. traffic) we are glad he is home ! Although we continue to monitor a very delicate situation we are grateful for the progress we have made.

I have been asked if we are going to still continue with our adoption plans? The answer is absolutely YES! When we are called to do something we do it! Gods timing may not always be when we might think though. Without elaborating too much I will say that everything that has happened in this roller coaster adoption journey is beginning to make more sense. My new motto is to simply relax and enjoy the journey. ( even though it is harder than one might think! ) When it is time we WILL watch the miracle of it all come together.

We are now reaching near the top of the waiting list for a girl under 2 from Russia. When that will be is hard to say exactly but, I am sure it will be the perfect timing. In the meanwhile, we are trying to regain a sense of normal back in our home. Although not completely there it WILL happen too. Perfect timing I know.

Battling the Storms !

2009-09-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

The last month has proven to me once again how much we depend on the lord to help us.Even though I know that weathering the storms of life gives us experience and fine tunes us to be more like God it certainly is not easy !! We have been battling a frightening, stressful, and emotionally draining health issue with one of our children .We are so praying the next few weeks will be the beginning to bring the proper treatment needed.It is so hard to see your child suffer and not be able to fix it in addition realizing this will need to be very carefully treated and managed for the rest of their life.
Any extra prayers are greatly appreciated !

Baptism and Birthdays

2009-07-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

Victoria turned eight this month so she had the privilege of being baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!She was blessed to be baptized by her daddy.We are so proud of her decision! She was baptized in the same baptism dress as her sisters. We also celebrated a birthday for Reece as well.He always gets a great celebration since his birthday is July 4th!

Bahamas / Florida

2009-07-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

We had agreat time on our trip to the Bahamas!We spent a couple days in the Miami area before we left on our cruise from the Port of Miami.The beaches in the Bahamas are so incredible! They are sooo blue and warm!! The sand is soo soft and fine! Snorkeling was a favorite for the kids.The ocean water here in California is so much colder so I Loved having the water be warm!The cruise liner was really nice but, living in two cabins with 5 kids gave us a bit of a lot of togetherness !Coming home again made us appreciate our own space!These times together however, are priceless as the kids are growing up so fast!

We will not give up ! There is a plan !

2009-06-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

From the title of this post you may have already gathered the little sweet baby boy referred to us no longer belongs to us. He will however have a home with another family .First , I will say this had nothing to do with his health or any fault of our agency.Second, we have learned the possible up and downs and risks of adoption and that having a referral does not mean they are meant to be ours.Third,we are grateful it was decided at at this point in the process. Fourth,despite another hard emotional week we are at peace and know there is a plan.We will continue our journey to complete our family. Since international adoption has been such a huge roller coaster ride we have opted to open more doors and start domestic adoption in addition to continuing with international . We are not expecting another referral from Russia any time soon because we have requested the next referral be a girl.( long story I will share another time)Some day we will understand this spiritual journey better but, for now we continue on enjoying the blessings we do have.The next couple weeks we will enjoy the blessing of our family as we spend time together cruising around the Bahamas .

Here Is The Graduate !

2009-06-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Miracles do happen! Despite being diagnosed with autism at age 3 he has come so very far from that time. We were told he may never talk or learn much independance.Through hard work, intensive therapies and much dedication on behalf of many teachers, specialists and yes, his parents he graduated with a GPA of 3.8! Many of his teachers and therapists through out his life were at his graduation. He was given the title of POSTER CHILD FOR AUTISM from those who have worked with him.

Autism is not something that will go away BUT, there is hope and resources to help these kids try to reach there fullest potential! Reece will be attending college in the Fall. I could really never have asked for a better gift than a son who has taught me so much. Since I was pretty young when he was a little boy I guess you could say he has helped me grow up too!

HE IS A CUTIE ! !

2009-06-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

We have accepted a referral of a very cute blue eyed 15 month old boy from Siberia! He has the chunkiest cheeks you just want to pinch !! He appears to be pretty healthy and pray that will remain true. We go into this again with a guarded heart but, knowing all along that much faith is required .Travel for trip 1 will probably be in August. A couple of more documents are needed for the DOE so, I will be busy getting it done this week. Here we go again!!

A few pics from the week

2009-05-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

A visit to the Griffith Observatory in L.A.

Brianna and Caroline hanging together.

Our little fish Victoria swimming with the shark.Pool time and green chlorine hair season has arrived !

Family time at the pier in Santa Barbara.

There is nothing like taking a nap with our fluffy furry friend Zorro.He makes for a very soft pillow!

Still hanging on to Hope !

2009-05-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I will say this journey of adoption has taught me many things and continues to do so .Even when things tend to go from one disappointment to the next I continue to hang on to what we know as Hope! I do believe that someday I will look back and see the growth and faith this journey has given me. I have spoken several times to our Agency these last few weeks. They still have not received the referrals they are expecting from their region in Siberia.That being said even then we REALLY hope we will be able to accept the referral!Our documents continue to sit and "Age". I am soo tired of having to redo docs, redo notaries. authentications, fingerprints and on and on because they may expire! Things in Russia slow way down in the summer in regards to adoption so we shall see what happens. I no longer even have an estimated time frame because I just do not know! In regard to adoptions in Kyrgyzstan nothing will even be addressed until after the elections and even then it will be uncertain to say the least.I would have never thought we have two dossiers for two countries sitting at the top of the list and we still wait and wait.Really, I am not complaining but, it is just frustrating ! Again I come down to HOPE! We certainly are not getting younger and the kids are growing up .At this point we will just follow the plan according to Gods timing.

Performance by Brianna

2009-05-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is Brianna ( in red skirt on right) performing in her High School Choir Finale. She is doing a duet singing Miss independence ! The title fits her soo well! It was hard to get a clear video because it was outside at night but, she was awesome! This was also the performance she was practicing for before she had the mishap with the car! Yes, the car was totalled! You will need to pause the music in my favorite music box in the left side bar at the bottom to hear the video.

Mom there is a problem!

2009-05-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

I recieved one of those DREADED calls today where the pictures tell the story. Brianna was leaving the school parking lot after her rehearsal and within seconds the car she drives has taken on a new appearance. She was wearing her seatbelt and the airbag protected her from the frontal impact.

She is fine except for the airbag burns and seat belt bruises.We are VERY grateful for that and know it could have been a lot worse.I am obviously very glad no one else was in the car and no one else was hurt. Being a mom of two teenage drivers is a bit scary as one can see. Looks like mom will be doing some more driving around for a while! It just seemed a lot easier when the kids were small and you could put them in a carseat!

To add to the exitement of the day AS I am posting there is a rattle and a shake that rumbled through the house called as minor earthquake.

In addition to everything today 3 of my kids have the flu! OK I need calgon to take me away!

A little light

2009-04-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

The last couple days I have really prayed to know if we are on the right track with the adoption and to have it somehow be confirmed again that we indeed are heading in the right direction. We have had so many twists and turns that doubt has sometimes taken over (I guess I am one who always needs confirmation over and over again)It has never been whether adoption is right for us but more the uncertainty, delays, stalls, having to decline referrals etc that sometimes makes me second guess myself whether we had it right. Today, two different things happened to indeed give me the strong confirmation needed to continue on our course.I am grateful for that little light that has been granted to continue on. We are looking forward to another referral soon.

A General Update

2009-04-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have had several requests to update so I will share as much as I feel comfortable sharing on a blog. In reality I have tried very hard not to let myself get caught up entirely with adoption stuff. I have felt a need to detach a bit and regroup. I have focused more on things that I CAN control like spending more quality time with my family.In regards to adoption we have had some more disappointments and have not been able to feel comfortable accepting a referral.Our faith is being challenged but, we remain positive that the right child Will cross our path.

Last week we had a little family get away and flew to Utah for a ski trip and visit family. Daren, his brother and some of the kids went sking in Park City while the rest of us shopped and just hung out with cousins. I had forgotten how cold snow is! Lets just say I am not sure I would survive comfortably in winter outside of So. California anymore!

Easter was a lovely day spent with family. We are normally back in Switzerland at Easter but, we had changed our plans because we were suppose to be in Russia during this time . We will see what happens in the next couple months so we can reschedule everything.I have to admit my heart has been feeling heavy this past few days as my thoughts have been on my dear sweet church friend who died this past week. Her husband and four young children will miss her dearly! I know Gods arms are tightly wrapped around them and that brings peace.

We will see what the next while brings.Today I am headed to get our USCIS fingerprints updated.I can not even count how many times I have been fingerprinted since we started the adoption process! How many fingerprints does one need to prove you are not a criminal ? I know it is for the protection of children so we just have to go along with the process!

Autism Awareness

2009-03-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

This next month of April is dedicated to help others become more aware of Autism. Many thousands of families deal with all the challenges, frustrations,tears, and immense growth from being parents of Autistic children which includes our family ! 18 years ago as a very young mother and wife I had no idea what God would be teaching me for many years to come. In these past years we have learned things we never thought we would and become advocates for our children who can not do this on their own.We not only help our children to reach their full potential through immense amount of hours of therapy and alternative teaching but, also become educaters to teach others and help them try to understand what the challenges these children have.Autism is not just a challenge for the child but for the entire family! Over the last couple decades Autism has increased by leaps and bounds with no specific causes although there are speculations which includes environmental issues and increased vaccinations too close together.Whatever the cause these are children of God who need deserve to reach their potential. These children teach us so much !These children despite their challenges and difficult nature at times have feelings just like all the rest of us. Our son has benefited from all that new developments in this area and from all those who have accepted him despite his challenges which has come through educating others .I know that many others can benefit too when we can learn about and support those children and families who deal on a daily basis with the challenging issues associated with Autism!

The Roller Coaster Continues....

2009-03-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin ! ! Will this roller coaster ride of international adoption ever end ? I never liked roller coasters anyway !! First, I will say that almost two weeks ago we finished our dossier number 1 for our region in Russia! We really got this done in record time. Beginning of last week however, (after all the hard work was over) we recieved additional unexpected devastasting medical news regarding little D.This past week has been nothing short of agony knowing we have to make a very very difficult decision. After immense soul searching,lots of research,conversing with I.A. doctors and prayer we have had to make the hardest decision I think we have ever made! We have had to let him go and put our trust in God to protect him.Once we finally made the decision I felt a peace I can only explain as divine. Even though my heart kept wanting to save little D we knew we were not the right family equipt to do this. His sweet little face has filled our home this past month and my heart aches for him not knowing what his future will hold. Please pray for little D and all those little ones with uncertain futures.This experience is not something I hope to ever have to experience again !It has been simply emotional torture ! The last couple days I have had a constant prayer in my heart to confirm we have done the right thing. Yesterday I recieved word that all invitations to travel to this region in Russia are on hold for many months ! Even though this is generally not good news for others , for us is was an answer to prayer and a confirmation of the most agonizing decision we had to make. It does mean however that we will need to go to another region and I will have once again do another dossier because it is different for each region ! I have asked myself why we have had to have this experience ( among all the other hard knocks this past year) and even though it seems harsh at times I know someday I will get a better understanding. So,what do we do now ? We continue with this journey to find our children in Russia and/or Kyrgyzstan. which ever country comes through first or at all . Honestly, right now I am just trying to keep it together for I am feeling pretty depleted.My friend M found a perfect song to share just how I am feeling called "Be Strong". Thanks M !

How busy can a week get?

2009-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin when there are a million things on my list to accomplish! Last summer when we submitted our Dossier for Kyrgyzstan I was so thrilled to be done with the paper chase.I was so exited that I was done done done !! Well, I spoke too soon. We are back in the full blown paper chase for Russia.I am not complaining for it is much more motivating to do this again when you have a cute little face looking back at you and know the sooner you get it done the sooner you go meet him! It IS however an overwhelmimg task to do another 2 dossiers! Russia requires 2- one for MOE and the other for court!
The amazing thing is we have been able to get sooo much done in a very short time! In one week we switched home study agencies, new fingerprints,had a new home study update including a home and safety visit,and had it written up! I mean this new home study agency ROCKS! Plus we have already had our Psych testing that is required for Russia! Much of the other stuff is repeates of Kyrgz so I can do them quicker.I do believe that we can get this first dossier done within two more weeks!On the other hand some things have gone by the wayside.OH Well !

On another note that saddens me greatly is that things in Kyrgysztan seem more uncertain then ever! My heart breaks for the families waiting for the children they hold so deep in their hearts.I do not know what will happen but,my faith and prayers are with all those involved.We too have come soo close to a referral with Kyrgz and yet are soo far with all the changes and uncertainty! What I do know is that God is in charge and he Will lead us in the right course for our family! To my adoption friends Keep the faith!

Adoption Detour ! !

2009-02-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

This past week has been very intense with much prayer and thought. Sometimes God leads us to things we do not understand and need to feel his guidance without a shadow of a doubt.Last week out of the blue we recieved a referral of a 1 year old adorable little boy from Russia! We were very surprised to say the least! ! ! We have no paperwork done for Russia!This was not the plan we had but, we know Gods plan is not always ours or at least in the way we think it will happen. We prayed and prayed and prayed and could not think of anything else this whole week! Our minds were so focused on what God wants us to do.We came to the decision that this little boy would be our son.We also came to the decision to remain in the Kyrgz program and do a concurrant adoption if things work out . If two children is Gods plan we will obey.Right now our focus is to get our first Russian dossier in to our Agency with Record time! We are having our homestudy updated to Russia this week and I am working quickly to get documents done. It will be my full time job the next couple weeks.It seems easier this time around since we already did this stuff once!It is however an overwhelming feeling to get this done fast! We ask for your prayers that we will be guided and directed in this journey to our little Siberian prince ! We feel a bit overloaded with this sudden change but, do believe we will also bring home our little one from Kyrgz too. God knows the plan and we will follow it as he presents it to us.

Highs and Lows

2009-01-29T17:09:00.000-08:00

The highs for the week are ...
1. I found a good specialty doctor for one of my kids.
2. I get a free day on Saturday when hubby takes the kids skiing to Big Bear.
3. Two different people actually thought my oldest daughter and I were sisters ! Brianna was not too happy about it but, I was. Maybe it was the boots but, I will take it!
4. The kids all did fabulous on their grades this semester.

The lows for the week are ...
1. Nothing new on the adoption front except that 17 high ranking officials in the Kyrgz government have been released from their positions.
2. My dad had a serious fall while walking into the church and broke his pelvis in three places.It is expected to take several months for his recovery and will need to be in a rehab center for up to 8 weeks. Looks like I will be doing some traveling.
3. A not so fun Kidney infection for me.
4. Everything in the house seems to break all at once like the refrigerator,toilet,back door, and gate outside due to our lovely winds.What is up with that?

We will see what next week brings!

Universal Studio Hollywood Fun.

2009-01-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

Bryce and Victoria waiting to get into their favorite Jurrasic Park ride at Universal studio in Hollywood.It is a very wet ride so they were covered with their raincoats.V is so exited she is finally tall enough to do the big rides!

Looks like Dad got a shoulder rub from one of the Mummies on the way into the Mummy ride.

Looks like the Shark got Victoria. She is just enjoying exploring the inside of the Sharks mouth.They had a great time and all were tired at the end of the day.

Emergency Preparedness

2009-01-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

This time of year it is our family tradition to prepare for earthquakes and other emergencies! On January 17th 1994 our family was living in Northridge ,California when at 4:30 am we were literally jolted out of our beds.The noise and shaking is something I will never forget!! Outside we could hear and see the fire from gas lines in our neighboorhood exploding.Some how we all got out of the house without a scratch! About an hour before the quake hit I woke up and felt an very urgent prompting to get Brianna out of her crib(she was 1 at the time) I had no idea why but,the feeling was so intense that I did it and brought her into our bedroom.Little did I realize a huge heavy bookcase would land right in the middle of the crib where she was sleeping !I will never forget since then to ALWAYS listen to the spirit.Our home suffered such damage we were no longer able to live in it.The bookcases were thrown to the ground, glass was everywhere around us,windows broken, walls severely cracked and nerves shattered! We found out later that we were less then a mile away from the epicenter of the Northridge Quake.

From this experience we always try to be as best prepared as we possibly can.Each year we check our 72 hour kits, our water storage, food storage, flashlights, batteries, matches, first aid kits,radios, etc. We also check and make sure anything heavy is bolted to the walls or ground .We can NEVER be too prepared! We never know when our preparation will pay off.

Watching,Waiting,Wondering and Warm Weather

2009-01-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been beautiful here in southern California with the temps being over 80 degrees.The kids had pool fever so I heated up the pool and they had a blast swimming away and warming up in the jacuzzi.

As I am watching kids swim I am wondering what this next year will bring our family.How fun it will be to get out all those baby pool toys and teach another little one to swim and enjoy the water.In regards to our adoption we are watching the developments,waiting patiently (sort of ) for things to get moving again after all the lengthy delays and wondering when all this waiting will end! We have always felt on the right path. Like many other families we will wait it out and see what happens in the next few weeks .Not having specific time frames or expectations does seem to help in this process now so we are not always dissapointed.We have certainly learned the meaning of "rolling with the punches". Let us pray most of the punches are over and the referrals start rolling!

Sweet Caroline is 13 !

2009-01-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe my sweet Caroline is an official teenager! We started out our birthday celebration earlier in the day when Mom made her famous homemade ham,potato and leek soup.It simmers all day and by evening it is so good that I ALWAYS catch someone doing

THIS ! Brianna got caught this time.

After the healthy stuff we went to the sweet stuff.Caroline has always been anxious to have a celebration even before it was her time to be born.Despite doctors efforts she took charge and made an early debut in this world. She had many physical hurdles to overcome but has grown into a beautiful , talented , smart , daughter ofGod. I am now realizing we have 3 teenagers !
It is not an easy task to raise teens these days and feel very blessed that they are really good kids!

Happy Birthday Sweet Caroline!

I Am Ready For A New Year !!

2008-12-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

To continue the pattern of this past year,certainly the last couple days could not possibly be uneventful right? The answer to that would be a definite yes!Instead of relaxing we had one emergency room visits, an urgent care visit and two emergency dental visits in less than 36 hours!! First, one of my boys comes down with a really nasty infection so we took him to urgent care because it was after hours.They gave him some antibiotics with pain meds and we were fine UNTIL later that night I took some cold medication for my never ending sinus issues and was severely allergic to it.I new something was very wrong when my hands,feet and mouth were all tingling and I was having a really hard time breathing plus I began to have such intense itching everywhere.I had taken cold medication before and did not have a problem but,in the past couple years I have become allergic to so many things,UGH Anyway, do my history of allergic reactions I had to be treated with a number of things .Soo after spending the whole day and night with those issues, my daughter wakes up early this morning( I am still really drowsy from the meds) and says her mouth really hurts where she had her impacted wisdom teeth pulled last week.So we called the dentist and got her in for an emergency visit.She was treated for minor complications and sent home with a new antibiotic.THEN I finally sit down and try to relax and I begin to drink my herb tea to clear my intense sinus issues and my top front tooth (Veneer) comes out!! I was about to swallow the very expensive tooth! Now mind you it is new years eve and we already went to the dentist on an emergency basis this morning once before ! I call and told them my new veneer came out and they are like wondering what is up with our family today.I was fortunate to get in today (even though it was a four hour visit) and have them put on a temporary until my new veneer is made again!I was really nervous having them give me anything for numbing because of my allergic reaction last night but,I was O.K. So,I am done with any medical and dental issue for a while!!!( that is until my new veneer is done)

In regards to this past year as a whole it has certainly been a a year of personal growth and learning.I honestly do not remember a time as hard as this past year.So many difficult challenges,sickness,losses,disapointments and heartache.I DO see this past year as a BLESSING in that my faith has grown and my relationship with my family and with God has deepened.I have learned that I CAN handle more than I thought I could.I AM grateful for the challenges that have helped me become a better person and has refined me to be more like our savior.I continue to marvel at the great peace and assurance that one can find in the midst of despair.

I look forward to 2009 with the spirit of hope and faith and that the lessons I have learned this year will help me in the next.For those friends who are going through the roller coaster ride of International Adoption let us all continue in our faith and prayers to bring our children home.Let us hope and pray mid January will be the turning point in that direction for Kyrgz families! Wishing you all a wonderful new year!

Finally ...a tree and poem

2008-12-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get our tree up but,we finally did!

Victoria enjoyed decorating the little kids tree and playing with her favorite nutcrackers.She went to see the Nutcracker play this year so she was really into them.

The following is a Christmas poem written by my friend Jeri.

When all the gifts are purchased

and wrapped beneath the tree

When all the cards are signed

and sent most lovingly

When decorations have been

placed stockings hung with care

When Christmas smells and Christmas

songs do sweetly fill the air

With a fire in the fireplace

and tree lights all a glow

The most important part of all

I have yet to do,I know

I will kneel beside my bed

and humbly I will pray

That I will choose the perfect gift

To give him on that day.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas with a prayer we might remember that Christmas is about a baby who has become our Savior!

let us remember him!

10 things you might not know

2008-12-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Those of us in the adoption world know things are well...a bit unknown right now so I wonder a bit about what I am going to blog about now since I really would like to write more about adoption stuff.Well at least I do!I have seen several blogger friends put up lists of things they have done or not done and one blogger friend suggesting we share 10 things people might not know.So,here are my 10 things.

1. I am a former figure skater.

2.I am a health "nut" and a nutritionist.

3.I was so small as a baby /child people thought I was a puppet doll-literally!

4.I love anything that needs to be organized or help anyone get organized (The latter does not always work out so well)

5.English is my 6th and last language I have had to learn.I had to learn 5 fluently before age 10.

6.I am a strong supporter of natural alternatives if they can be effectively used .

7.I always wanted to be a Flight Attendant but I am too short. Airlines require you to be 5 feet 2 inches tall.

8.My first child weighed over 9 pounds! He had such a big head! Yes, I love him dearly.

9.In my free time" HAHA" I still love to play spiritual music on my flute. I have played since I have been 8.

10.I still have my russian doll that I recieved at age 2. She has traveled with me to more then 35 countries.

Phew... that required me to think!

I Am Thankful For......

2008-11-26T21:51:00.000-08:00

I am thankful that I can go home to Switzerland often even though I am now a transplant Californian!
I am thankful that this little Swiss mountain village I can always call home.
I am thankful for my dear other half Daren!
For my children that tag along on all our adventures!
I am thankful my girls can experience being in the same place that mommy was when she was a little girl!There is nothing like breathing fresh mountain air in the Swiss alps.
Yes,I am thankful for my plump sweet boy! He will cheer anyone up with his loud purring!He is absolutely the sweetest cat ever!
I am so thankful for my mom who despite is visually impaired still has the courage to enjoy her world around her.
I am thankful for the Lords Temples where we can go to feel such peace and love.This is the San Diego Latter Day Saint MormonTemple.
I am thankful my sweet daughter finally turned 16!Now she can officially date!
I am thankful my handsome boy is learning to serve and be a good example.I am grateful for the beautiful sunsets we are able to witness here.
And for the beautiful things God has created for us to enjoy.There are so many other things I could say,but mostly I am grateful for my savior and his deep abiding love for us . Happy Thanksgiving!

The Power of Prayer,Music and Scriptures

2008-11-22T10:39:00.000-08:00

The great power of prayers,music and scriptures has been very healing and a great blessing to me the last couple of weeks.About a month ago I recieved a CD from a dear friend not realizing the true value of the gift.One particular song I thought was very touching and thought would be a nice gift to give to someone who was grieving and hurting.Little did I realize It would be me that would be so touched by it.The song is by Hilary Weeks(a Latter Day Saint Vocalist) which is called "Just Let Me Cry".The lyrics talk about how everything happens for a reason and when we have a heart there will be times when it will break.A broken heart is however what gives us strength.understanding and compassion.For those who have experienced this pain know it just hurts! Maybe Later I will figure out how to share this song on here.

Several scriptures have also been a great strength to me.
In Alma 36:3 we read"Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their afflictions, and shall be lifted"

In John 14:18 we read "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you"

In John 14:27 "peace I leave with you,my peace I give unto you,not of the world giveth, give I unto you,let not your heart be troubled,neither let it be afraid"

In Ether12:6 we read "After the trial of our faith do we recieve assurances and blessings"

Thank you so much for those who have prayed for my healing and peace.I have so felt your love and prayers. Even though the pain will not go away today and healing is a process I have felt showered in your love.Thank you my dear friends,family and husband for lifting me and carrying me through.

On a completely side note, maybe we will hear something positive on the adoption front soon which would certainly lift my spirits. I must be patient I know.

One Year Ago

2008-11-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

Today officially makes it one year since we started the adoption process! This is the day we signed with our Agency!This however does not include several months of prayer before we started. Has it been easy? No ! Did I think the process would be faster? Yes ! Am I grateful to be where we are at? Yes ! Did I realize we would get caught up will all the country changes regarding adoptions? No ! Despite all the changes,delays, unknowns, and waiting I am totally O.K. with it. I totally know the lord is in charge here. In my heart I also strongly feel things will be moving soon.I have had this very strong feeling of just needing to be prepared. Not just shopping for cute clothes but, preparing our family for some changes and even some unknown challenges.I know the lord is preparing my heart.I know he is preparing our family.I am grateful we have had this year to learn and grow more together as a family .

On another note,I have found it a great honor to be able to voice our opinions. morals and values this week. As a naturalized citizen I especially find it a great honor to be able to vote.Despite the fact that I did not vote for our president elect I pray he will have wisdom in guiding our country. I am however happy that our church put in much effort to help with the passing with proposition 8 here in California. Our traditional values are not always accepted but,it is such a gift to be able voice our opinions and beliefs.

Family Night Fun!

2008-10-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

For family night this week we had a fun and messy time carving pumpkins!
Even Caroline allowed herself to get her hands dirty. Wow!
While the kids were busy with pumpkins their dad was busy cooking us all some healthy sauteed veggies!
Bryce and Victoria wanted to make sure we plant ALL of these pumpkins seeds in the backyard.I had to gently explain that we live in a suburb in California and not on a farm.
They were all really getting into things and getting all the slimmy stuff out before
the carving began.It is just always fun to "play together'' as a family.

Gratitude!

2008-10-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

These past couple weeks there is just so much to be grateful for.I feel so thankful and humble to watch the Lords hands in our lives!It is just amazing!I feel his love,protection and guidance and it is such a blessing.I just always want to make sure I am thankful and never forget the wonderful blessings our family recieves. One of those blessings is that our adoption process has moved along swiftly and efficiently and we are getting really exited.Even though we do not know when we will recieve our referral I know it will be the perfect time.For now we just try to be productive and Wait patiently!

WIND FIRE SMOKE

2008-10-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics of the smoke that covered our neighborhood due to the wildfires nearby.

This is what it looked like in our backyard a couple days ago. Wildfires are not uncommon here so we always need to be prepared! Every year people lose their homes here in the land of wildfires( and earthquakes too!)

MOM DID IT !

2008-10-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday after I dropped off the last kiddo at school I was leaving the parking lot and was turning right when this other car was flying towards me in my lane. I took a very quick and sharp turn and ended up hitting the high curb next to the street.I knew the second I heard the metal rearranging itself that it was not going to be a pretty sight.I called hubby and told him I had a" little" whole in the car.Well, maybe it was not that little.I am the mom who ALWAYS tells hubby and my two teenage drivers to be very careful and not to take any unnecessary risk.OK I shall eat my words!I ended up spending the morning getting a couple estimates.OUCH!!

I Wonder...

2008-10-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a great deal of wondering what the next year will bring to our family.Will we have another son or daughter? Will they have brown eyes or possibly blue?I wonder if they will have a special need or two? Will our child be tiny or already a year or two or three? Will it be one child or possibly even two?I think my heart already knows the answer to some of these questions and I just need a little more patience until it is revealed.It is like Christmas waiting for a gift to see what is really in it.So far,the vote in our family has been pretty split between a girl or boy.What does everyone else think?

Good News Update!

2008-09-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Our agency has informed us that our Dossier has been submitted to the Kyrgyz Embassy. We are so exited!

Family Life (This Week)

2008-09-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

Our big 22 pound furry member of the family loves to"hang" around.He never complains and is an exellent listener to all who want to vent their frustrations.

Spending a fun afternoon with the family at the Pier in Santa Barbara.
Birthday celebrations is always a great way to get everyone together.We always have a birthday for someone around here pretty often.This time it was for Bryce. My girls hanging out and being silly during family night.
My girls being sisters and having fun.
Victoria( middle) and her soccer buddies. She scored two goals for her team yesterday!YAH!

Weekly News

2008-09-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

So,today is a day of mixed emotion.After being a teacher in the Young Womens Organization (girls age12-18) for over 3 years I was released today at church.The Bishop asked me if I would accept a calling in the Relief Society(Womens Organization) as a teacher.Although I will really miss being with the girls that kept me young( or at least kid myself that they did) I am exited to serve the lord in Relief Society.Change is always good even if it just takes a while to change gears.Today after church I had my last Young Womens activity as we went to visit one of "my girls"who had surgery this week.I so much appreciated the kind words and calls I recieved today . I will miss those girls!

In other news ,Bryce scored his first soccer goal of the season yesterday! He was playing so hard that my fair skinned blondie was as red as a fire truck but, that did not stop his determination. He was soo exited! It nice to see his confidence building .The bad thing was I did not have a camera! One of us usually has one but,not when we REALLY would of liked one.UGH!!

Lastly,Our Dossier should be turned in to the Embassy sometime this week.Our case manager is out of the office this week so I dont know if we will hear when it was delivered until she returns . I just pray we can get through the Embassy quickly !

What Do You Think Mom?

2008-09-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Victoria is already trying to decide what to be
for Halloween so,she thought it would be easier to
try on ALL of the costumes we have collected
over the years all at once! She decided this was a lot of work.

Moving Forward

2008-09-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received word that our Dossier is done being translated and will be shipped to the courier in D.C. on Monday to get the last authentifications .The U.S.Department of State will take a few days and then our Dossier will be submitted to the Kyrgyz Embassy.We are making progress! After leaving the Embassy it will be in the hands of those making life changing decisions but,we do not know exactly what happens during this process except that it goes to the Ministry Of Education in Kyrgyzstan.I get strength from the scripture on faith in Alma32:21 "Faith is not having a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true".

Switzerland ,Italy and Florida Pics

2008-09-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

Still in translation and Mexico adventure

2008-09-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

I was hoping our dossier would be out of translation when we returned from Rosarita Beach Mexico over Labor Day weekend but,it is still not complete. A at our agency said hopefully it will be done sometime next week.It has been a month since we turned in our paperwork.Patience we must have. Our agency also does not have a line for referrals until after our dossiers come out of the Kyrgyzstan Embassy.I guess that makes sense since, we are not all requesting the same gender, age, and some are open to some special needs.I just cant worry about all this too much since I know it will all work out the way the lord intents it to.Its just hard to sit back and wait trust, and have faith. Much faith I must add.

Over the holiday weekend we drove down to Mexico.Rosarita Beach is about 4 and a half hours from here without traffic.The drive down was smooth sailing but, the way back we had a 3 hour wait at the Mexico/US border.It was hot and sticky and a very long wait for the kids. Trying to keep the 2 younger kids occupied in a positive way without any major meltdowns was really a Labor of love! I didnt have any good snacks left so next time I will definitely bring more.They were all wanting something other than Mexican food too.The condo and beach though were really great!Its always good to bring the kids down to Mexico so they can see first hand how blessed they are to have all that they do and become more grateful for it.When you see these little children begging and selling anything they can to survive is soo sad.

Back from Europe and Back to School!

2008-08-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well,I have jumped back from being a Swiss girl ( as still so many call me) to being a California mom very quickly.One day I am by the Glacier with the goats in Switzerland and the next I am busy buying school supplies,shoes,clothes,picking up schedules.changing schedules,figuring out lockers, and trying to get my kids to get to bed earlier!

It is going to be a busy year.I have four different schools this year.Reece is a Senior and Brianna is a Junior this year.Caroline is in middle school and is going to be very busy because she is in the GATE program this year.Bryce and Victoria are both in elementary but at different schools. Our suburban pretty much knows the way by itself.The trick is always to get everyone to school by 8am all over town and to four different schools! The joys of having children.There is still plenty of room however in the boat (my car) for one more little person we hope to join us soon.

In adoption news,our Dossier is still being translated as of Friday.Our case manager said this takes two to three weeks so it may be done in a week or so.I am not putting specific time frames on anything though. I am still just enjoying getting that Dossier OUT OF MY HANDS!That was the biggest project we have ever had to get together.I am sure it will be worth it though.

When the kids are in school I will post some pictures.

A Few Of My FavoriteThings

2008-08-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

Now that I can relax a bit I have been thinking of some of my Favorite things to do. 1. To teach the youth in our church .Every Sunday I have the opportunity to prepare a specific topic to teach my 14-16 year olds, so they can be examples to the world.It is so hard to be a teenager these days and resist the temptations of the world. I have been able to see and witness how loving guidance ,support and love can help them withstand many worldly obstacles and pressures.It is truly a joy to see. On Wednesdays we also get together and serve someone in need or learn a new skill .It is such a blessing to be part of their lives.I am also happy that my daughters Brianna and Caroline and son Reece are part of the youth organization.I know it makes such a difference in their lives. 2.I love to lay down with my two youngest before they go to sleep. I often find out such interesting Things!In the past few days I found out the missing broccoli was flushed down the toilet for fear that I might make it for dinner.I also found out who and why our 21 pound cat Zorro was given chocolate milk. No wonder he is a heavy weight!And last my little one said she thought blue toothpaste would just make a very pretty picture on the bathroom mirror!Yes ,it was pretty just a PAIN to clean. I have come to see that it is not so important who did it as to what they were thinking and feeling at the time. 3.I love to go back and read my old journals to read about my thoughts and look at photos from the past to see how we have all changed. Wow how we all change! The other night my girls and I looked at their baby albums.They sure had a few good laughs about the big hair days .To funny ! 4.My very favorite place to go is to the alps in Switzerland.One of my favorite villages is Lauterbrunnen where I just love to walk and hike and enjoy the incredible beauty.I am looking forward to spending time there these next couple weeks.I love the US but, sometimes I really miss my homeland too.

Out Of Our Hands!

2008-08-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning we recieved our Certified and Authenticated documents back from the Secretary of State and the following six hours were spent making copies, more copies and more copies then putting everything together in the right order.What a job that was!! At 4 in the afternoon I finally had our Dossier all ready to go. I made a trip to my FEDEX friends one more time!Our Certified and Authenticated Dossier arrived at our agency this morning at 9 am. I hope A will get back to me and give me a O.K. before I leave for Switzerland in a few days. Once I know everything is fine with all our paperwork I will allow myself to start having some fun and relax!